30 Weeks in The REAL Baby Journey!

The past week or so has been quite the awakening in life as a pregnanct lady. I hit 30 weeks and things have just really started to feel pregnant. The baby has dropped significantly and instead of being up under my rib cage, it is now shoulders deep in my pelvis. I’m hoping it’s just making itself happy and comfortable instead of trying to head towards the light. I’ve happy to be this far along but 30 weeks isn’t enough when I’d really like at least 34 and ideally 37. Stay in there, baby!

With that in mind I finally bit the bullet and swallowed my ridiculous pride/ego and spoke with my doctor about going down to two 12 hour shifts a week instead of three. He signed the paperwork and I’m submitting it officially tomorrow. Only two 12s from here on out and while it feels like a sign of weakness and like I’m giving up when so many other coworkers worked full time through the end, I know that every pregnancy is different and that this is the right thing to do for me and my baby. I have so much pressure in my pelvis that I waddle a little even though my belly itself is quite small. Waddling through three 12 hour shifts is getting more and more silly/uncomfortable and why would I put myself through that if I don’t have to? My belly was growing steadily for awhile but with the baby dropping and burrowing so much of itself ‘out of view’ and not included in my bump, I don’t look 30 weeks to many people and get told repeatedly how small I am. I’m not quite sure how to take it but am glad people aren’t constantly telling me I look ‘due any time’ or ‘ready to pop’ at only 30 weeks as well. I was not prepared for the constant evaluations of my body that come with pregnancy but I’m taking it all in stride. My goal is to grow a healthy baby and if it’s full term but small, I’m happy. I just really want it in there as long as possible :)

In other news, my ever present pet peeve with genderized clothing/toys/accessories continues to make me rage on the daily. Little pink clothes covered in slogans about being ‘beautiful’ and ‘like a queen’ and ‘princess in training’ make me so angry I could spit. At the same time all the ‘boy’ clothes about being tough and strong and ‘no crying in baseball’ etc make me cringe. I hope to raise a daughter who is confident in herself and knows she has value and worth beyond her looks and who knows she is smart and strong and tough as well. I want to raise a boy who confident that it is okay to have feelings, to show weakness, to be vulnerable and sensitive even in a world seemingly hellbent on making him hard. I am the daughter of an extremely caring and kind man and I married someone who is gentle with himself and the world. I don’t want to slap a label on my kid simply because their genderized clothing demands it. Thus whenever people talk about how stressful it must be not knowing the baby’s gender so I can’t design my nursery in pink flowers or blue dump trucks I pretty much lose my mind at them when they likely just want to share in how my planning is going. The more pregnant I get the less I seem able to bite my tongue and it’s made for many an uncomfortable situation. It’s often best if I just avoid the topic entirely. ;)

I started having contractions a few days ago and was awoken by a pain like I’d never known. It was so sharp and took my breath away, unlike a menstrual cramp and more like a burning stabbing pain in my crotch/abdomen. I had to lay perfectly still for it not to increase in waves and I just kept breathing my way through it, reminding myself that it would end and that being calm is the best thing I could do. I managed to roll very carefully out of bed (cursing our beautiful but oh so tall king bed frame) and waddle crawled to the bathroom. Peeing helped immensely and I was reminded when I spoke to my doctor later that an overly full bladder can cause contractions. Add that to the list of things I’m now very careful about. It, again, reinforced working less as I either don’t have time to drink anything at work (dehydration causes contractions) or I chug water when I can and then don’t get a chance to pee (causing contractions). I’m limping through these last few weeks work-wise but thankful over and over and over again that I have a compassionate, caring, kind and accommodating boss. She is doing absolutely anything she can to help me out and is going above and beyond to be as flexible as possible. That cannot be appreciated enough as my previous boss was awful and would have made this immensely more difficult!

Outside of work I’m slow but doing just fine. Still doing the laundry and the groceries and walking the dog and getting around to the household chores as much as I can. Rob took over the cleaning and in true man fashion, instead of cleaning the toilet seats after he scrubbed the toilets, he got upset that he couldn’t clean them well enough and just took them all off and bought new ones and installed those. Definitely not an approach I would have used but it amused me nevertheless. He’s been wonderful and has stepped up in a big way. If I so much as casually voice a worry or concern, he steps up and fixes it without me saying anything else. It’s been wonderful and I make sure he knows how much I appreciate his help and that his willingness to be and do anything anything we need for our home has reduced my stress significantly. I knew I married a good guy but I have zero complaints about how he’s helped out and adjusted to this new lifestyle. I’m more eager than ever to see him as a daddy :)

I’m still meeting my (now 36 weeks pregnant) sister for early morning gym sessions and we’re doing 90 minutes of low impact cardio combined with weights. We’re slower and a bit more whiny with each passing week but we’re also huge supports to one another and we get it, never making the other feel guilty or shameful about adjusting a workout and listening to their body. I could not be more glad we got pregnant at the same time as I would have loathed her complaining if I were still struggling to get pregnant and she would have not understood why I was so slow if she hadn’t gotten pregnant and I had. It has worked out wonderfully and we both keep remarking how lucky we are to go through this together. I foresee many cousins pictures as they grow up together more like twins than spaced out cousins :)

On that note, here’s a side by side of us at 28/34 weeks and 30/36 weeks. Working hard even though we’re getting bigger!

Also, here’s two pictures from a wedding we attended on Saturday. Last time I wore that dress I looked quite different… ;)

(Last time wearing that dress in June 2013. Ha! :))

I will take being achy, uncomfortable and a little bit rounder for the pleasure and honor of growing this little one. I apologize if this entry comes off as whiny as I don’t intend it to and simply have come here to vent a little despite still being very happy to have these issues to complain about! I hope you guys know that :)

I also want to apologize in advance that much of the writing for these next few weeks will be chronicling my thoughts through the end of pregnancy. I know most of it isn’t likely that interesting to the rest of you but I want to be able to read back and hear how I really felt as the time got closer. I will try to mix in some other things that I do and places we go, etc but no promises that it isn’t all just a bunch of baby talk :)