You guys!! in Since OD is shutting down....

I appreciate the comments! This guy is pretty much a joke. He’s the same one I wrote about a few months ago. The one that said out of nowhere that he was worried I was going to use him but he’s been the one doing the using! He’s decided that because he was deployed 3 times and has PTSD that he’s going to make healing a priority. I completely understand that he’s got more than enough issues and I’m going to let him deal with them but I am not going to be sitting around waiting to hear from him. Whenever I do, it’s just him asking me for shit.

So, just today he asked me to get him a case of water because he’s going on some walk/hike thing on Thursday morning. I’m not sure where men think it’s a woman’s job to take care of them but I’m not the one. Again, I don’t know where anyone thinks that I have all kinds of spare cash or something but I seriously fucking don’t!

I agree with everyone who’s told me online and otherwise that he’s a mooch and I need to stay away from him. I have been used my entire life by just about every single person who’s walked into my life and now, I seriously can’t allow it. I don’t have extra resources to help anyone out. I’m already worried about paying my Mom to babysit because I don’t expect her to do it for free but I have to get that loan paid off.

I’ve been thinking about all of this today and realize it’s time to let him know that I’m not rich and can’t afford to just be spending. I plan to be as nice as I can and if he chooses to go ghost, then that’s probably for the best. It’s just funny to me how men are so scared you are going to use them but they end up being the ones to use others. It’s just crazy to me. I don’t have any help here paying my bills or anywhere to turn if I need help so I don’t really feel it’s my job to be helping anyone else.

Again, this is why I don’t try to have friends or find boyfriends. It always ends up with me getting used and shit on. I just want to understand why in this world it’s either use or be used. It can’t ever be where there isn’t someone getting used. I’m a single Mom and I don’t have much to spare and I don’t appreciate someone asking me on the regular to be buying them stuff. This guy has packs of smokes, cans of chew and cans of Monsters all over his place so it’s really bullshit that he can spend his money on that stuff he doesn’t need but then is asking for help with food?!?!?!!?

I’m usually always the one to text or call him and this morning I had text asking him how he slept. He said that he didn’t and I told him that he should have came over. He said that he keeps his distance sometimes and it’s for the safety of others. Um, okay so should I be questioning our safety around him or is that just what he’s saying to keep me wanting him?! This shit seems really weird to me. It’s like he wants seeing him to be this really special thing and that just rubs me the absolute wrong way.

For real though, I hope God has a bigger plan for me. Maybe someday I’ll find an actual man with good intentions and wants to just be there for me and my daughter. Someone that should know that a single Mom doesn’t have much money. I’ve even told him that my BD owes my daughter 10k and he knows he doesn’t pay shit. Like whatever he’s gotten from me, I’ve earned. Even if it’s $20 worth of groceries, that’s taking from my daughter and myself.

So yeah, I’m just hoping that nothing messes up my Mom babysitting this weekend because I have to make money. I’ve already made a payment on that loan and plan to pay more before the first payment is due on the 2nd. Like I have to just keep rolling. We will make it. I’m just tired of this uphill battle all the damn time.