Wednesday. in Since OD is shutting down....

My daughter had another morning where she was asking to stay home. I reminded her again that she doesn’t have to go to the after school program and I told her that she doesn’t have to go to school but that she gets to go. I didn’t have this issue with her until I let her take a mental health day. But yeah, I have a phone thing at 2 and then tomorrow I have my dr appointment at 1. I’ve put it off since last month but I need to get that over with.

I’ve been somewhat constipated the last couple of days. I’m super frustrated.

We went and did my work last night for a couple of hours. I’m really fucking annoyed that it’s not busy when my daughter is at school. I would like to put in my time and make the majority of my money for the week while she’s not with me. I don’t want her in the car constantly. I know she doesn’t mind because I buy her snacks and drinks but I still feel bad.

I paid my cell phone bill. I want to start paying all my bills up for even 2 or 3 months in advance so I can start saving towards another vehicle. I miss having more than 1 car. I just feel so much better when I have more than 1 because then I always have something to drive. I try very hard to keep myself as independent as possible. I seriously fucking HATE asking for help. It’s not like anyone will do shit to help anyways. I’ve always had to be my own best friend with absolutely everything. My daughter is the only person who has my back and she’s 6.

I talked to both my friends this morning. My 1 friend bought a van for $1,500. It looks super nice and take care of. I’m so happy for him. I want to buy something at some point. I just hope I can find a good deal like that too.

It just sucks because I wish I would have started working a year ago. I don’t think it would have worked out though. My daughter didn’t have the attention span that she does now and there was times where I have tried to take her in the past and would only be okay for maybe an hour. I need to plan on buying her a new phone. She wants a Nintendo Switch but those are super expensive and so are the games.

I plan on just buying her a cell phone and paying a bill. It would be cheaper to just pay for her to have a phone than having a babysitter. I’d rather pay a phone bill than childcare. I also don’t want anyone to be able to say that I’m where I’m at because they’ve watched my kid. It’s cheaper to get her a cell phone with a bill than have to deal with anyone ‘helping’. I’d rather spend money on a phone, snacks, and drinks than go broke paying a sitter, worry about not getting her on time and they take it out on her or deal with my Mom watching her because that was an absolute nightmare. I had never felt more used in my entire life and I will make sure that I never have her around again. It’s sad that she’s been brainwashed and manipulated to the point of believing that it’s alright to mooch off of your child and grandchild.

So it’s not busy. I’m making brats for lunch. I’ll probably see if my kid wants to go after school for a little while. It’s just annoying that I’m sitting here bored as shit. I could be making money but there’s no money to be made right now.