Third drowning nightmare in 2020s

I’ve got a few things to update on, but first I’ll get the nightmare out of the way that has me worried. How I wish I wasn’t psychic and had the luxury of writing it off as just a simple nightmare! But I know better. Every time I have a certain kind of nightmare where I’m about to die, something bad ends up happening to me. I just had the THIRD drowning dream I’ve had this year. After the last one in February, I got the norovirus. After the first one In January, I had an anxiety spell for about a week. So yeah, definitely worried and wondering what it could mean. I just hope I don’t have them every month!

My guess is that I’m in for another round of anxiety because it isn’t very often that I get hit with the norovirus. There aren’t that many things it could be, but I’m glad that Tom wasn’t in the nightmare because whenever there’s a deadly nightmare that involves both of us, something bad happens that affects us both. But whatever’s coming, it’s on me and I’m definitely worried and nervous about it. But at the same time, the sucky thing about being the kind of psychic I am is that there’s nothing I can do about it. I can’t change it. I can’t stop it.

So in the dream, I was walking along these boulders that ran alongside the ocean somewhere. There was a big boulder that sloped downward and I lost my footing as I was going down it and fell flat on my ass. Then a huge wave came and swept me out to sea. It just came crashing down on me and snatched me right off the rock and the harder and faster I tried to swim back to the rocks, the more waves would come and engulf me in them, sucking me further away. So it was a pretty scary dream.

I also had a dream that I was thinking of Maliheh and how she died when she was 47. But in real life, I last talked to her when she was in her 50s and now she would be in her 60s.

Then I had a dream that I walked into a fish market and started to tell an Asian woman that I usually buy bags of frozen tilapia filets and asked if they’d be cheaper there. She started to have this gross look on her face before she turned and walked off like she was going to look for the answer to that but never came back.

I woke up tired today because I was up for 18 hours yesterday and only slept for 6. This happens sometimes and I’m always tired when it does, so I can’t really judge today. However, I may be on to something as far as the vitamins go - especially vitamin D - and its connection to anxiety and fatigue. I started taking a multivitamin 4 days ago and have noticed a general increase in energy and that’s part of why I was up late. That’s the downside to having energy is that when I have it, I sometimes have insomnia. So, I can’t win either way. It’s like I’m tired because I don’t have enough of this or that whether it’s thyroid or vitamins, and also tired because I have insomnia at times. But in general, it does seem like there may be a connection to it boosting my thyroid and energy levels which in turn can lead to anxiety. I took multivitamins during the worst of my anxious years after going on levothyroxine. Plus, I was adding vitamin D to the mix at times, not knowing that vitamin D can enhance thyroid function. So I could have been fueling my anxiety without knowing it by flooding my system with too much and pushing myself into a range that for me personally, left me wired and anxious. I’m now hoping that while this may be a little too optimistic, I can find that comfort zone between the very fine line between helpful and hurtful, and whenever I start feeling sluggish, I can increase the vitamins, and then decrease them when I feel like I might be getting close to becoming anxious. I’m seriously wondering after all these years if there could really be a connection. I don’t feel anxious now but feel I could be getting close, so I think I’ll skip tomorrow’s vitamins. I just don’t want to push it.

The more I look at it, the more I can see that Ray didn’t clear the side or back of his place in preparation for gravel. If you really look at it, you can see that it’s just greener on our side because of the way the ground is and the way the water pools toward our sidewalk when it rains, and not that it’s been intentionally cleared.

The honker is definitely getting serious with his girlfriend. He didn’t take the motorcycle out all weekend and I guess I have her to thank for that. I don’t know what she does during the week and from what I learned, she’s a few years older than him.

He sometimes walks down to her place since it’s not that far and of course, the dog is alone more and sometimes howls. Tonight it was just one howl.

Still wonder how this relationship is going to affect his going home. I just can’t imagine getting all serious with someone and then having them be like, “Okay, I’m going up to Canada. I’ll be back in 6 months,” but maybe she’s okay with that. Maybe she’ll eventually go up with him. I don’t know the nature of their relationship but if it’s that serious and they ever have a nasty break-up, you would think it would be rather awkward living so close to the person but that’s on them.

Between the girlfriend and highs of around 40 with lows of around 30 where he’s from, I can see why he would be in no hurry to get home.

I’m still hearing Happy every day. I don’t know why it’s been a daily thing again, but I haven’t heard it go on for more than a few seconds after that one time it went on for several minutes. I guess some people just think it’s pretty damn funny or don’t realize just how annoying it can be.

I asked AI to give me a list of adult communities in Florida that do not allow motorcycles or dogs and it gave me a list of 20 places. I don’t know how accurate it is and I know that policies can change. I wish we had this option when we first moved here, although at that time, we were desperate to get out of the last place as noisy as it was and we only had so much money to play around with after staying in hotels for a month. But if we ever had more money and could take our time looking since we wouldn’t be desperate to escape this place and wouldn’t have plane tickets and hotels eating up some of our money from the sale of the place, things may be different. It may be easier to get more of what we want as long as the flight path isn’t any lower.

Looking at it realistically, I don’t see us ever moving. I would still like a place that was a little bigger and with an indoor washer and dryer but I just don’t see it. Then he pointed out how we never would’ve thought COVID would lead him into early retirement and us out of the “house of terror” where my scariest moments and memories live. I’ll never forget that OMG moment when I was casually pacing through the house when it hit me that there was no longer anything holding us there. It was like a prison door had popped open just like that and we were free. And I’ll never forget that emotional flight from the brown drought-stricken West to the lush green East, on the very side of the plane I saw us on in my dreams.

So surprises and rare circumstances can and do come up. I’m not expecting us to ever have money again but I realize I may one day be surprised, even if I don’t know where it would come from with him not working. Would we win it? Either way, I need to have goals and dreams to hope for and to strive for. I don’t want to be locked in and feel like this is it forever no matter what. If it was, that’s fine, but I prefer knowing I had options. Even if you’re in a great place, knowing you have other options is always good. That way, you don’t feel like life’s over and you’re locked in forever.

While it would be great if I could suddenly be near Jessie, I’m hesitant to bother for three reasons. First, we may be childhood friends, but we’re not exactly that close, especially in comparison to how close Aly and I were. Secondly, I don’t want to be close to Cape Canaveral and its plans to increase rocket launches. Lastly, we wouldn’t get warmer winters there, so if anything, I would head South if we remained in Florida and unless we’re ever surprised with enough money to get us to Hawaii or lost our place in a hurricane or tornado, I don’t see why we would leave Florida. If we did but didn’t go to Hawaii, I don’t know where we would go. I guess I would aim for either a place that rained a lot or a desert somewhere. I just wouldn’t go to any state I’ve already lived in because that wouldn’t be adding new experiences and variety to my life.

Back to finish my fun-filled weekend of increasing my waistline and chances of becoming diabetic, although the waistline isn’t going anywhere. My weight actually went back down again, even with Lorna Doones and coffee ice cream.

Last updated March 30, 2024