Monday morning, 6am. in Since OD is shutting down....

I slept pretty decent. I’m going to wake my daughter up and start getting her ready for school. She was telling me last night that she misses her after school program. I’d kinda like to ask if she could come a day or two a week but I’m also worried how she could be treated since I was the whistleblower with the way a couple of them treat the kids. I just don’t know. I’ll think about it later. I’m going to get her to school and then come home to make breakfast. I think if it’s not busy, probably get laundry in and take a shower.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about expectations. I believe my biggest problem is expecting ANYTHING from other people. I know that it’s never a good idea to expect shit but I get put in positions where I still do. I understand that I still need help sometimes. Things are going to go wrong and I can’t do everything by myself. No one ever helps me or is any type of support except caseworkers. I guess I should be grateful that the state has more involvement and cares because I don’t have anyone else that does.

It’s like with that guy. He made me feel like he was always going to be there to help me whenever I needed it but didn’t do a fucking thing. I remember asking him to even screenshot our conversation one night and send it to me and he couldn’t even handle that so how the fuck would I have ever thought he’d put brakes on my car?! He said for me to even take him with to buy them so he could get me a discount and that didn’t happen either. It’s like people want you to just sit around forever waiting for them to decide to be a help to you. Well, when brakes are going out, you don’t have all the time in the fucking world!!