Feeling muscles in The OpenDiary (OD) Days!
Revised: 10/12/2014 6:32 p.m.
- Dec. 1, 2005, 9 a.m.
- |
- Public
Feeling Muscles :) - 12/2/2005
| <font color="#ffff99">A man walks into a Pharmacy and says to the beautiful female teller, "Umm... err, I've never purchased condoms before, and I don't know what size to buy." </font> <font color="#ffff99">"That's okay. You can test your size on the fence out in back." </font> <font color="#ffff99">So the man walks out back and he sees three holes. Just as he prepares to stick his penis in the first hole, the beautiful teller sneaks over to the other side of the fence. The man sticks his penis through the first hole where it is gently caressed by the teller. Then he pulls it it out and sticks it through the second hole where the teller begins to suck his penis and give him a blow job. Then, finally, he pulls it out and sticks it in the third hole. The teller takes her vagina, wraps it around his penis, and begins to hump it. She quickly pulls up her pants and scurries back inside where the man is begining to stumble back in. </font> <font color="#ffff99">She starts to giggle and says, "Have you decided on the appropriate size?" </font> <font color="#ffff00"><font color="#ffff99">"Screw the condoms! Just give me 3 yards of that fence!"</font> </font> |
<font color="#ccffcc">I had a pretty good day today. Dragged myself off to work ready for my 3rd day of the working week. lol, wasn’t too bad. Tash was there today, you could tell she was sick as though, and I see why she had yesterday off. Some of the conversations we had today, my god haha. Dan’s always showing off his muscles and stuff, trying to get everyone to feel them and stuff (even me!) haha, he’s so funny. He’s always like, ‘you know you want me’ haha. I’ll finally get to meet his girlfriend on Sunday!</font>
<font color="#ccffcc">My parents tried to ring me sometime in the last 24 hours. Hmm I hate how they only try once. Thing with me and my phone, people usually have to try a few times to get me. John knows all about it haha as I look and usually have 10 missed calls or something haha. So far my list of people coming to my birthday at movie world is 6 others and me, hopefully that is. :) Things could change between now and then. I’ve been told to bring like swimming clothes cos a lot of the rides go through water. I can’t wait to see what it’s like, and I’m still hoping the weather will be good, cos if it’s not, we’ll be going to Wet & Wild, if it’s open hehe. It’ll be $38 per person with the shop-a-docket I have, so that’s way better than the original $62. And my docket says it’s valid til the 12/12/2005 so yeh if they kick up a stink I’ll sue lol - nah just joking :P</font>
<font color="#ccffcc">Having a conversation with this random gay guy on msn - you can tell he’s horny cos the entire conversation has centered around the size of his dick, how he wants my dick, his body and how hot his body looks haha - I mean gee and he wonders why I’m not even remotely interested in him - yeh I would be if the face wasn’t so ugly lol. Nice body but if ya aint got the face you dont get nowhere - unlike MOST gay guys who look at the dick size FIRST.</font>
<font color="#ccffcc">I’ve been a bit worried cos Luke was upset tonight. Worrying about being gay and stuff like that. It’s hard for Gay Christians. I don’t know how they do it - and I say that being one myself. It’s soo not easy, being someone that the bible says you’re condemned to hell being. It’s scary stuff. I think maybe his mum’s been talking to him. I’ve accepted myself more I guess, and haven’t been to church in ages.’</font>
<font color="#ccffcc">I talked to Sam online tonight!! For the first time in aaaaaaaaaaaages! He’s my best mate in Perth, and it was soooo good to see him. He’s going out with Joshy now and everything’s great. I even asked a few personal questions to see how much I could find out, and it’s great that Sam still sees me as the good mate he tells everything to - he definitely is for me. I have never been happier for him now that he’s with Joshy, cos Josh is one great guy. I told him my situation with Luke and everything and he offered his advice and support, so that was good. :) It was great to chat to him. Apparently Josh is around 7" (but don’t tell anyone) lol! :)</font>
<font color="#ccffcc">Anyway, 2 days to get through. 2 days til my 22nd birthday!! How exciting!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) I think I deserved the extra smileys :) Love you all…</font>
<font color="#ccffcc">-Matt</font>
Notes: --------------------------------------------------------------------
gay christians would have an easier time if the other christians weren’t so damn christian. [J HENRY] 12/1/2005 11:12:02 AM
It’s not the size of the boat … it’s the motion of the ocean. [Rachel Erin] 12/1/2005 12:09:15 PM
Just incase i dont get one HAPPY BIRTHDAY! [Archer_Mage] 12/1/2005 12:09:49 PM
Seven....not, too bad for him…lol. Take care buddy. You truly are a good friend. Always remember that! [C-Dub85] 12/1/2005 12:27:40 PM
You’re TWENTY TWO? God, and you’re, like, so independent and all that! Pff, my brother’s ALREADY 22 and is so fcuking dependant on my parents for EVERYTHING. Wow. For some reason I feel a surge of pride towards you. I mean, you’re gunna be 22 and you have SO much of a life!
mwah, darling. we luv yer. happy birthday in advance: just in case I’m not online the day after tomorrow, =) [Nesstwy.] [p] 12/1/2005 12:34:30 PM
ehe, I actually meant “TWENTY ONE???!!!” =) [Nesstwy.] [p] 12/1/2005 12:35:25 PM
lol thats a funny joke [Redflash25] 12/1/2005 1:46:18 PM
i hate meeting guys online and then talking exclusively about sex related things.... but that’s just me. [LegallyGay80] 12/1/2005 2:01:39 PM
Amen to J’s note! [USCGrad94] 12/1/2005 2:12:39 PM
wow, I’ve never had a conversation about that. well, I have.. but it wasn’t sexual at all, you know that kinda conversation where you’re talking about something sexual, but it isn’t really.. sexual? it’s almost scientific? so you get really nothing out of it other than knowledge? i dunno. how abOOt I talk lak thees, cause I’m a canadian eh. lsdkfjalsdkj. ahem. [penfifteen] 12/1/2005 4:00:53 PM
Happy early birthday! Sorry, I haven’t been able to get on here and read for a while. But I am hopefully going to be able to start again. :) [SinginStephie] 12/1/2005 4:43:00 PM
On the dick size thingy. When you are chatting with some dude his dick size ALWAYS is much bigger than the actual cock. So is it’s four inches in real life you can bet your ass it’s gonna be 8 Inches. He was probably jacking off while he talked to you. Wish I had MSN. LOL
Love ya Matt.
Ben [Taste The Rain Bow] 12/1/2005 4:54:53 PM
Great! That’s really good news, I’ll definitely be up for that and I hope I don’t squeeze anyone else out. So where are we going exactly? I’ll pack togs and towel and stuff eh?
Actually I might go buy some more board shorts.
Is email ok? To email directions? I will do it tonight. Not hard to get here. [The_Blind_Archer] 12/1/2005 6:13:15 PM
Hey Matty the ticket thing doesn’t work for me. I was hoping to buy it and you just pick it up at the ticket window. My birthday gift to you. But the website doesn’t accept American money. :-( Oh well. I know you’ll have a good time anyway. Don’t forget to bring your digital camera and take lost of pictures. We’ll be there in spirit. Go to Luke’s house and drag him there with you. He needs fun. [mobyduck] 12/1/2005 8:21:35 PM
you definately deserve the extra smileys, and heres some more :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :):) :) :) :):):):):):):):):):):) :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D [^^shorty^^] 12/2/2005 7:36:42 AM
Last updated October 12, 2014
Loading comments...