Thursday. in Since OD is shutting down....

I got my daughter to school and stopped for coffee and a sandwich. Every day she tells me how she doesn’t want to go to school. I’ve talked to her about telling her teacher when kids are mean and if they don’t stop, she needs to let them know she’s going to be mean. We have already cut out the after school program and she’s gotta go to school. There’s just no way around it. I have to make money. I’m not in a position to home school and my daughter is too outgoing and social to stay home.

I’m hoping it’s going to get busy so I can put in at least a couple of hours. I didn’t get to go at all yesterday. I want to put in my time and make the majority of what I’m going to make for the week while my daughter is at school so it’s less time she’s spending with me in the car. I’m stressing out because I still don’t know if I’m going to have to pay rent and have to renew my tags. It’s just annoying how it’s always worked out where I don’t have much money. Even with little bills every month, something always comes up to keep me broke.

I have a feeling it’s not going to be busy today either. I’m super frustrated because that means I’ll have to put in my time while I have my daughter. This thing where there’s no babysitter is really eating away at me. I just don’t understand why no one can ever help. Even a couple of hours here and there would be appreciated. I just want to understand why it’s like this. I’m just so angry at how much I’ve helped them and they don’t give a fuck when it’s their turn.

I got to go for a little while. I stopped at the store to pick up hamburger, patties, chips, greek yogurt. My caseworker called and was just talking about me being self employed and I told her about the rent thing and she said that she would also send a wage verification and if anything, they can pay my rent. They can only do it once and I’d rather they not do it this time but I don’t know what else to do. I’d rather save it for another time where it’s more needed, not just because people are either lazy or want to fuck me over. I just can’t believe the run around that job has given. It definitely makes me think long and hard before getting a real job ever again and the next time, I will straight up ask who’s in charge of doing wage verification forms and how quickly they fill them out and get them to who needs them.

Like being a single Mom isn’t stressful enough and then shit like this has to happen. I am so glad I have left that shit hold and I will make sure to tell people what it’s like. If I hear of another single Mom trying to work there, I will tell them that they don’t like it when you quit so they won’t be super cooperative when you need them to give your information to the right people so you can plan to sit around and stress about shit that you shouldn’t have to.

I made cheeseburgers for dinner. I ate mine for lunch so I might make fajitas for dinner if I get hungry. We have plenty for lunches and dinners. I have been a non smoker for 3 weeks today. It feels very good. I’m so glad to have stopped. I know that I will probably smoke again one day but I want to be free of it for now.

It’s been sunny and warm today. I’m absolutely loving it. My mood is always way better when the weather is nice. I think my daughter misses her after school program and would like to go sometimes but now that I’ve quit and know that the people I worked with have been informed of their behavior, I would never in a million years trust them around my daughter. I know how she was treated without provocation, that I can only imagine what could happen now. My daughter does like coming home right after school and having more time to decompress. I am hoping to hear from that other program at some point.

So my caseworker got them to fill it out and she sent it to me. I couldn’t get it to open on my end so I had her forward it to my other caseworker. Still not sure if I’ll have to pay it or not but at least it’s done. I’m going to wait for him to email me and go from there. Hopefully I’ll be in the clear because it’s not the 1st yet.

I gotta get my daughter soon. I didn’t get to make hardly any money today but I’m hoping that tomorrow I’ll be able to go pretty much the whole day until I get my kid from school. Probably will go some over the weekend as well.