More tears in Each Day

I spent the whole day in such a rage… by now I’m just exhausted. Which is letting the sad creep in. Somewhere in the transition intrusive thoughts joined the chat. It’s nice that I got a chance to forget what that was like for a while, but here we go again.

I got called into new boss’s office first thing this morning. He told me that I did not qualify for the YEAR of back pay, so I have now lost 2.3 years worth of pay because some fuck lost my paperwork in 2019, and the associated mental health fall out from that, injuries, and also the work induced heat exhaustion. I could not stop crying in new boss’s office, left, cried in the bathroom, got in touch with M, then cried at him in a classroom beside his office. He’s having a lot of anger issues today, so he was limited help, but he sat with me for a while until he had to go do work himself.
Somehow I went back to work. Sat through a meeting, and fortunately had a teams meeting I attended from home.

Considering how my grievance went for the lost paperwork (nowhere, it went nowhere), I’m not feeling hopeful about this, but jesus fucking christ I am fucking tired of feeling abused cheated and robbed by my employer.
I’d love to leave. I’d love to mean it. But this vicious fucking abuser is the lesser evil than the job market. I’m getting beaten down either way. Might as well stay with the one that pays well.
FML.

Last updated April 02, 2024