Sugah! in Hello

3:15 AM

Still getting insane sugar cravings late at night. I’m ashamed at just how many sweets I ate the other night. Again, did my drinking at night so the sugar fairy comes at night.

Today I actually had an errand to run. Mom had to finalize some items for Medicaid. After I chauffeured her around to some thrift shops. As usual, I have a new stack of books to read. Wellstone called me this afternoon and apparently I have to do an assessment for the aftercare program so now I have yet another appointment to do at 11:30 AM. Fuckers, I wanted to sleep in till noon. Figure I’ll get up around ten, shower n shave n all that jazz.

My elbow has given me only slight trouble today, which is good. It’s a bitch wearing the brace due to limited mobility and me being left handed. Trying to light a cigarette or do anything really with my right hand feels so foreign. I’ve had my arm propped up on a warm pillow most of the night.

Oh! That reminds me, I watched Children Of The Corn for the first time. It was pretty cool. Wherever they filmed they got the empty desolation feeling right as it was in the story. However they gave it a Hollywood ending where the couple lives. 🙄 Either way, it has my celeb crush Linda Hamilton in it. Even older with grey hair in that last Terminator flick she’s still drop dead gorgeous to me. Jamie Lee Curtis, too. Meow! lmao

Uuuugh! I don’t want to do adult shit today, I want to stay in and read more of my Dresden book and nurse my arm.

I’ve been lost in thought a bit today. Mostly thinking about what Comic Book Counselor told me about the girl OD’ing at River Valley. She was always sweet. Every day she came around and passed out a prayer “Jesus loves you” type card. I’m an atheist but I thought it nice. Just being in that environment. These folks seemed normal. Laid back, easy to talk to. A few of the girls always laughing with bright, bubbly personalities. But then you think of how close a few of them were to death’s door before getting arrested and sent to rehab.

There is a point here, I just don’t have the words to express it.

“I know a place, where I can go to be alone
I know a place, where I can crawl to die
Away, away from you”

-Jay Reatard