So…

Last night Dave offered to buy me house.

dafuq

Obviously I said no. Then he stopped texting me. Still didn’t as about Tink though. Obviously. I’m taking this as his final offer to buy me off before he fucks off altogether. He hasn’t turned up to the last TWO appointments, and I doubt he’ll turn up to the next one, which is the final one that he has details for. I shan’t be texting him the details for any more.

The way I look at it is this.

-If he was bothered about his daughter he would text regularly and ask how she is and what’s new.
I refuse to force him to be involved. If he WANTS to be involved, then that’s fine and we can work out a plan but I expect him to show that he actually cares enough to want to be involved. It doesn’t take 2 minutes to text and ask how she is, and it would show that he cares.
-If he was bothered, he would turn up to the appointments and would actually participate, rather than stare out the window or at his feet.
I told him the dates for the first two big appointments, which he showed up to and showed precisely NO interest in and NO interest in being there. When given the dates for the next THREE appointments I gave them to him and suggested he give them to his secretary. I made it clear I wouldn’t be reminding him as he’s a grown man and should be able to take responsibility for such things. He hasn’t turned up to the past TWO out of the three, and he hasn’t even told me he wasn’t turning up. Just ignored them all together. I’m not his mother and I’m certainly not his secretary. HE is not my responsibility.
-If he was bothered, he would have looked in to visitation options and we would be discussing what’s going to happen regarding him having access to her.
He doesn’t even contact me to ask how she is, so why would I contact him to see about visitation? He’d probably only let her down anyways. IF he can’t be responsible enough to turn up to the appointments like he says he will, then why would I trust him to be responsible with my daughter?
-If he was bothered, he would have phoned the CSA to get an understanding and estimate of what he should be paying, when he should pay and why.
I’ve made it very clear that if he’s involved then he will be expected to see and pay for Tink. If he had bothered to get any info about the financial side of things, then I’m pretty sure that we would have discussed it by now.We would be drawing up legal documents that would lay out a plan for us to co-parent by. I also told him that if he’s not involved then I expect NOTHING from him in any way, shape or form and that includes money.
-If he was bothered, then he would have asked if there’s anything that she needs, and if not would have maybe bought or offered to buy something.
Pretty sure you’ve got the picture by now. If he hasn’t asked how she is, then he’s definitely not asked if there’s anything he should buy. By now I would expect him to be asking if there’s anything needed in general and what he needs to buy for his house and car. He hasn’t.

So for him to rock up and text me asking if we’re going to be living with Mum still after she’s born. Then to offer to buy me a house when I said yes....well you can see why I’m slightly suspicious of his intentions. Don’t get me wrong, there’s definitley people out there that have serious Baby Daddy Drama, but this is fucking ridiciulous by anyone standards. God only knows if he’s still with the Psycho. I suspect he is as the text came from his work phone. He even offered to buy it and put all the deeds and such in my name, still no. Partly because I’m not interested in owning a house because I plan to move south and have no desire to deal with selling a house in however many years time. Partly because I also have no desire to be a landlord when such lack of desire thinks that renting it out would be a good idea. I don’t really fancy selling out and being like “oh yeah, my baby daddy bought me this house right before he split”. Also, I have a feeling that this has been someone else’s suggestion (possibly his parents) so that regardless of outcome he looks like he tried to do the ‘right’ thing.
”Well I bought her house so that the baby would always have a roof over it’s head.”
”Well I did offer to buy them a house, but she refused the offer.”
One makes me sound like a money grabbing bitch worthy of a double page spread in The News of The World, and the other makes me sound like a plain old bitch. I’ll take plain old bitch every time. I refuse to take what is essentially something that will make him feel better for having walked away.

Know what I would like him to do?

ManUp

Either do what he says he’s going to OR actually sit down and have the conversation that tells me that he’s changed his mind. That he doesn’t want to be involved really. That he was going to do the ‘right’ thing for the sake of doing the ‘right’ thing but that he’s not sure he can do that anymore. I mean, come one, for fucks sakes. Andrew was a complete dick in the way that he did it (who still asks for an abortion at 18 weeks pregnant?!?!) but at least he made A decision and stuck with it. I always knew that Dave was a bit unreliable (just don’t even comment on that sentence) but I never knew that he’s SO seriously lacking in backbone.

Ugh.

Last updated January 14, 2018