Empty. in Since OD is shutting down....

I really left here early and got my kid for her dentist appointment. Everything went well and she doesn’t have any cavities. We don’t have to go back until the end of July. We get back to school and go about the night. I seriously think my boss is a bitch and the guy I work with just pisses me off because once he shows up, he just kinda takes over the group and I just sit there counting the minutes until it’s time to go home. I definitely don’t feel needed and my presence is just annoying.

I’ve been up since about 3 putting in applications on Indeed. I told my daughter last night that I want to find a job working during the day so she won’t have to be there everyday or be there until super late. There’s a older guy that works in her group that’s mean to her and hurts her feelings everyday. I don’t know how to bring this up to the boss and I’m not the confrontational type so I’d rather just make a plan to find a different job so my kid isn’t dealing with this shit.

Honestly, I just have this nagging feeling everyday about finding a different job. I would really like to make big girl money and start planning real shit. I have days where I just don’t want to be there and it ends up a good day and then I have those days where I go with a really good attitude and leave super pissed off. My friend told me this morning that she thinks part of my problem is that I’m still really uncomfortable. I agree with her. None of my co-workers are around my age so I don’t know what to talk to them about and I still struggle to find a comfortable time when I’m there.

I just don’t like where I’m at and I’m doing everything I can to change it. I also worry about how the Summer is going to play out because childcare is expensive and I don’t trust people with my kid. Even if she goes to the Summer program, that’s only for 6 weeks and then I don’t know what I would do after that.

There’s a new wage withholding. I got an email yesterday about it. I’m sure he’ll quit right away or stay until he’s made a couple paychecks and then bounce before CS can get any money. He’s done this enough times that he knows how it works. I’m upset that I couldn’t even try to have a conversation with him and figure out where he’s at with everything so see if he’s planning to keep a job and I could get CS consistently.

I have since talked to a co-worker about my issues and she told me to try and find time to talk to the boss about my issues. I’m pissed that someone is making my daughter cry everyday and she’s told me he’s hurting her feelings. I’m tired of not feeling needed in my own group when the guy I work with gets there. Hopefully by talking to the boss things will get better and if not, my daughter and I won’t continue being there. I’ll talk to the boss and give it a chance to improve but we aren’t going to stay somewhere and be uncomfortable.

I’ve showered and ate lunch. I have just a little bit before I have to go. I’m pretty stressed but I’m trying to keep myself positive and remember that it’s not going to be like this forever.