Spiritual Science in Journal

and the subjective experience.

My relationship to the subjective is uneasy and skeptical. I think that comes out of being physically and emotionally abused as a child. Most people have that unfortunate experience. Because I was viciously punished for it as a child, I have a difficult time acknowledging, trusting, and expressing my own experiences.
It was a matter of survival that I had to discard my own observations, feelings, and primary experiences. I have noticed that this is almost ubiquitous in childhood. No matter the age, no matter the culture or ethnicity. And, I’ve noticed that individual health, success, and satisfaction depend on one’s ability to accept and negotiate with this fact. In other words, one’s willingness to be empirical.

There is something that tells me things. And my mind/body/soul interprets this unknown something in different ways.
I have almost countless examples. I’m sure everyone does. Sometimes I listen. Sometimes, I don’t. But .. I cannot honestly deny that I became aware of a message. Or knowledge. Or command.
I’m open to the possibilities. It could be me. My unconscious. Alternate parts of myself. A gut instinct communication. It could be God. Or a guardian spirit. Local spirit. Demons. Satan.
I really don’t know.

One thing I’m absolutely certain of; this unknown something never has overridden my free will. Likewise, every single account concurs. So… In a way I think that there can be empirical scientific inquiry into this unknown something. If it is separate from my free will, or at least refrains itself from interfering, then I can freely inquire of it.

There was a moment in the last month or so that I felt a definitive shift in my awareness.
I broadened. My feeling extended outward. I feel that I became bigger and lighter. Also other things. Faster, clearer, more focused. I find it easier to remember what I believe to be true, and to discard that which has been empirically disproven, regardless of social pressure at large. I can accept my feeling of skepticism and caution, without needing to justify or defend. I can just be. I can easily turn away from anything. I do not feel that I owe anyone my attention.

And there has been a second shift. It seems to have happened very quickly after the first.

We’re in a war. It’s been brought to us… It’s the same war that has always been.
Good people must have a definition of evil to recognize it. It is definitional. One cannot be good and claim that there is no evil, or that one does not believe in evil.
Anyone who says that evil doesn’t exist has defined themselves.