Gorgeous Backs, Guys in Everyday Ramblings

We, like many of you on both sides of the equator, had a gorgeous day yesterday. The air was clearer than I can remember it being this year and the mountain views stunning. I went for a long walk in the afternoon with lots of views. One just wants to swim off into that blue blue sky and leave all one’s cares behind.

It has been three weeks now since I have had a soda. Last time I tried this in the spring I made it a month without before I slipped back. I had a specific goal in mind then, to save enough money to cover the gift certificate for Kes, my sister. This time I am doing it, umm, to not drink soda, and to support Kes, who really needs to not drink it because it makes her feel bad.

I went into a trance at the grocery this week and bought a chocolate protein bar (which I ate the next day). I always buy something chocolate when I go to the store. I have been like this since I was old enough to shop on my own. I had a trip last week were I didn’t buy any and it felt odd.

It could be a protein drink, or dark chocolate baking chunks to parse out with a few raw pecans or almonds as a snack, fiber bars, or kids organic Clif bars.

This is partially how I managed to lose the 42 pounds. I was able to keep eating chocolate and drinking Diet Coke mindfully. Well, the chocolate eating was sort of mindful…

First I was buying these bars, like KIND Bars that were 5 or 6 points or a protein bar that was 7 points and these are basically supposed to be meal replacements. But then about 5 months ago I made a rule that I couldn’t buy a bar that was more than 3 points.

These bars are never meal replacements. I eat them as snacks. No matter how honorable my intentions are.

I remember talking to a therapist when I was in my late thirties. My relationship with Mr. POA was on the skids and I was gaining weight and was so frustrated because I didn’t know how to control the amount I was eating.

My therapist at the time was this incredibly nice guy, who had no food issues and never had and he said, “Just cut back on sweet things and chocolate and eventually your cravings will subside and you will want strawberries instead.”

“Easy for you to say”, Tonto! I snorted internally.

25 years later I am finally “getting” it.

I was just taking a break in the kitchen pulling these wonderful tiny perfect organic grapes off their stems.

Who knows if I will be able to sustain this last bastion of healthful eating? Everyday I stay away from Diet Coke is a good day; I do know that. Mr. POA who also had no issues with his weight or food used to get out a high end chocolate bar at the end of the long day and eat a few a few squares and could never understand why I felt compelled to finish the whole darn thing off.

Biology? Craving? Lack of self-control? Habit? Conditioning.

All of the above.

He got in touch with me this last week, Mr. POA. He wanted to tell me about World Ballet Day. I was so glad he did. I particularly enjoyed the feed from the Australian Ballet! The Ballet Mistress was/is marvelous. Fiona Tonkin. Funny and inspiring and creative she clearly loves what she does. Of the four company classes I sampled, theirs was by far the most fun.

She says after giving instruction, “Gorgeous backs, guys, gorgeous backs”.

No matter what one weighs or how one moves I agree, one can always have a gorgeous back.

Last updated October 06, 2014