Doctor Who review episode 6 in Rambling sane thoughts of the terminally me

Yeah, I know I missed 4 and 5. It’s a timey wimey thing.

“Timey wimey?” “I’ve no idea where he gets this stuff”.

So the latest episode is titled “Kill The Moon”. Let’s be honest from the outset. I wasn’t a fan.

It’s a shame because the last few episodes have been trending positive for me. I know this season isn’t for everyone and I accept that. Not everyone enjoyed “The Doctors Daughter” but I liked it. Everyone finds their own things to enjoy in Doctor Who. That’s part of the charm.

For me, though, this episode fell short.

Normally I launch into a review of the plot structure at this point but, honestly, I’m not sure that’s even possible in this episode. I’ll try but I’m sure you’ll get the point quickly enough

1) Doctor and Clara go to moon
2) Spiders
3) All extraneous characters are murdered
4) Moral dilemma as it turns out the moon is an egg.
5) Resolution.

Seriously?! Nothing FUCKING HAPPENS in this episode. Now I don’t mind that in itself. Nothing happened in “Midnight” and it was still a pretty cool idea. This episode, however plays the angle all wrong. How you ask?

Firstly, the Doctor is barely in it. For a show about him, dialling the guy out of an episode needs to be done with care. He’s the reason we tune in and so when he’s not around you’ve got to be sure there’s enough stuff going on to keep us interested. That doesn’t happen in this episode. Nothing happens in this episode.

Secondly and, no offense to the actress, but the kid character is woeful. It’s probably not her fault but the simple fact I can’t remember her damn name tells me I was not invested in what happened to her. She’s an archetype for the modern semi-teen to be a foil for the Doctors grumpy old man demeanor and it is not sold well. Her constant jumping from one proverbial foot to the other about the part she’ll take in history is offset by her constant whinging of boredom and desire for a computer game. Is this how the writers thinks kids are? More importantly, is this someone the writers think kids will find relatable? Maybe I am truly out of touch but I just found it insulting. Do you think if you grabbed any 15 year old off the street; put them in a time machine; took them to the future; offered them the chance to walk on the moon then escape death spider thingeys with them would have the immediate response “Got any computer games?”

I’d love there to be a thirdly but if you take out the Doctor and the kid what have you got in this episode? Clara and some bint on the moon.

God I hope not. I’d have to press the big red button that ends the universe.

I’d intended this review to be a long rant because I feel betrayed by this episode but, honestly, there’s not much more to say. That’s the problem. There is absolutely nothing to this. It is blatant filler. After the series started to come back with “Robots of Sherwood” and followed up with “Listen” this is frankly pathetic. I hate saying that. The roles are acted well. The sets are good. The CG is fine. It’s just the script and, honestly, that has been the problem throughout this season. When the episodes fail it is always the damn script.

I don’t know what to say. I love this show. This feels like the Colin Baker era when they tried to run it into the ground. I don’t want to see that.

The only bit of this episode that caught me was the end. I’ve been waiting for a while now for Clara to stop putting up with the Doctors bullshit but the interesting way this was handled was remarkably effective. Frankly, they could have extended this whole episode to a talk between the Doctor and Clara about why he was being such a dick and I would have lapped it up.

Oh. Also. Preview for the next episode. I’m sure most of you caught it. God knows they weren’t being subtle. For those who didn’t though....

11th Doctor: “And I have to— Excuse me a moment. Hello? Oh, hello! I’m sorry this is a very bad line. No no no. But that’s not possible. She was sealed into the Seventh Obelisk. I was at the Prayer Meeting. Well no, I get that it’s important. An Egyptian goddess loose on the Orient Express. In space. Give us a mo’. Sorry. Something’s come up. This will have to be goodbye.”

Yeah. Please make this more than a humorous reference to the Doctor forgetting to deal with this problem up until now. I don’t want this to be yet another sign of his space dementia. Make it something tighter and more clever, please. Please. Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!

Please Mr. Moffat. I trust you. You have had your failed episodes but I can’t expect you to shit gold. I can only hope that you can save the few remaining episodes. Don’t let them be more of this. Please.

Oh and final note? If you were going to go through all this… ahem…

WHY WASN’T IT A FUCKING STAR WHALE?! Seriously, how hard would that have been? What’s with the weird space dragon that we got? Star whale. Makes sense right?

Ramblerambleramble.

Last updated October 04, 2014