I make mistakes too. in Since OD is shutting down....

Definitely got a few notes on my last entry!!! I generally do NOT invite dudes over without meeting them in public first but this guy just seemed like I could trust that things would go okay. I felt very comfortable with him on the phone and honestly, was hopeful that he would be different from the rest. I was proven ONCE again, they are all the same. I will NEVER invite a dude over without meeting him in public first and the same goes for that other dude that was trying to come over and “cuddle” and then later mentioned biting!

It’s just hard for me to go months without any physical affection and I really wanted to just cuddle with this guy and just get to know him. It’s just sad that dudes think if you invite them over that’s instant code for sex. I will never make this mistake again. I just wish guys understand that if they actually gave chicks time to get to know them and feel comfortable, they would probably actually get some! I’m sorry but I want to know I can just hang out with a dude and feel a friend in him before we get too far. I feel like sex is a very personal, intimate thing that I’m not interested in sharing with just anyone. I remember when my ex and I broke up last year and I slept with a dude after and STILL felt like I was cheating. I’m just too old, mature, and uncomfortable with having sex with random dudes especially when I’m not on birth control!

I just wish dating could be easier. I’m just super down today because of this whole ordeal. I really thought me and this dude could have maybe had something. I know that when we first started texting and he was talking about having sex with me and then even shaved his pubic hairs AND sent me a picture, I wasn’t comfortable with any of this but just thought it was because he hadn’t been with someone in a long time and wasn’t completely sure how to handle things. I even told him that I didn’t need to see a dick pic.

Last night was a shitty night at work but he made it better by keeping me company by texting and now I don’t have that tonight. It just sucks that people, especially men are just about themselves and have to ruin shit by being selfish horndogs. Fuckenay. I know that if he wouldn’t have been so worried about getting in my pants, we probably could have had something. This just kills me.

Anyways, it’s almost time for work. Oh fucking joy. Now that it’s October, in about 1 week I will celebrate my one year anniversary there. I doubt there will be much recognition or raise involved and that’s going to be the last straw for me. I need to get serious about finding something else. I just hope I can make enough this week to cover my car note and buy groceries. Shit’s getting bad.

Thanks for everyone’s notes, I will respond either tonight or tomorrow.