Baby Class #2 in The REAL Baby Journey!

We attended our second Labor and Delivery class yesterday and yet again I was impressed and surprised and all warm and fuzzied by how seriously Rob takes all of this. While other husbands fought sleep or just gave in and napped for chunks of the videos or the lectures, he was attentive and asking me side questions (he did not love the answer to “what is an episiotomy?”) and genuinely interested in the information. He even made notes on things he wanted to ask me more about later and then we talked the whole way home about a birth plan and my thoughts on meds vs no meds and water births, etc. It was pretty cool.

A poignant moment in the class came when they had us circle through 14 ‘non-medicinal coping techniques’ for dealing with labor. Some included hand massage, hip pressure, rolling around on one of those big exercise balls, guided visualization and the age old slow dancing sway among others. The last station we came to was “discussion” where you talked with your partner about what you most feared and what you most hoped for with labor and delivery.

I spoke first, saying I feared how bad the pain might be and that I may not be able to manage it. I hope I can use the least amount of medication possible but I also want to be safe and not panicked or anxious any more than necessary. I said I feared a C-section, especially an emergent one, and am optimistic I can have this baby vaginally if possible.

Then Rob spoke after a few seconds of quiet reflection. He whispered it almost at first and I had to lean in and ask him to repeat himself. “My biggest fear is losing you.” Oof. I reached for his hand and squeezed it, reassuring him that was very unlikely and I’d be closely monitored and I’m so healthy other than a small uterus. He gathered himself a little, almost appearing choked up at the thought, and said “But what if you have a heart attack? Or what if you bleed a lot? I want the baby to be healthy and all of that but I couldn’t do any of this without you.”

And right then and there I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’d picked the right guy for this journey in life. He was so honest and vulnerable with me in the middle of this crowded room of strangers and he relayed a fear I’m sure he hasn’t really voiced before or even fully pulled into consciousness. I again said how unlikely anything going wrong with me is and how having a baby in the way that we’re having it is the safest way for us and for our little one. That seemed to comfort him a little but it took him a few minutes to gather himself after that and shake that fog of fear from his forethought.

On the drive home he continued to be attentive and continued to ask such interesting and probing questions. He’s so invested in this and takes not only the baby’s health seriously but mine and he’s trying to prepare himself for how to best support me and be there for me and offer what I’ll need. He went so far as to ask if like I be massaged in long strokes or in small circles and if I prefer firm pressure or soft. He made notes of all of it.

If these aren’t the best days we’ve had yet, I’m not sure what is. I’m nervous and excited and optimistic and so hopeful for the arrival of this little one but he really ramped it all up all over again last night. I have a partner, a true partner, a teammate through all of this and beyond. I know that’s not to be taken for granted and last night as we fell asleep, a puddle of arms and hands and doggy paws and body pillows, I was supremely content. I had everything I needed right there, my little family, one not even born yet but already so loved. This is a beautiful and blessed time and I’m so thankful I get to share it all with him.

Last updated October 02, 2014