1th in Hey, buddy, got a light?

I see this commercial, and it’s all ‘THE FUTURE IS NOW’, an shit.
So I’m like “AW SHIT MAH NIG, WE HAB DEM FLYIN CARS NOW SON?” and it turns out to be a fucking e-cig commercial.
VUSE. Cue ‘Inception’ BWOMMM.
Motherfucker, I need me a real cigarette. It’s like masturbation, I don’t want no robo dohickey, I WANT THE REAL DEAL HOLYFIELD, I.E. MS PALMER AND HER 5 DIRTY DAUGHTERS, HIYO!
..I dunno G, I mean..have you seen what some of those robo dohickeys look like?..I’D sink it into one
MMWAH! GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE!
Alright, I’m done, I have to get back to my tuesday night CSI NY and adolt swim.
I hate Adolt Swim, they’re all like “Brah, we’re so anticonformist an shit, make sure to like & upboat our page and hit us up on twitter and don’t forget to buy more doritos locos tacos.” I’m very much vehemently anti-things other people like.
Except things you like, reader. We get one another, man…-I mean it, we really get one another.
God help you if you like cream cheese mashed potatoes though, I JUST WANT SOME PLAIN FUCKING ORE-IDA OK? NO CHEESE, NO CHIVES, NO GARLIC, JUST PLAIN GODDAMNED MASHED TATERS LIKE THE FUCKIN PILGRIMS HAD WHEN THEY HAD THEIR FIRST THANKSTAKING WITH THE INJUN’S WITH ALL THEIR WAMPUM & FIREWATER & ETCETERA.

Tomorrow is the first day of Octobuary. It’s about that time, dawg.
Oh shit, son..
Fuck…
YUP.
SPOOKY.SCARY.SKELETONS.

..Alright, I’m going now.