CPR class is done! in Since OD is shutting down....

So I worked yesterday and was able to leave a little early. My friend had some groceries delivered to me by mistake so I came home and put that stuff away. I was able to eat before I went to my class. I will be forever grateful that my brother watched my kid because I got to do my class without any added distraction or worry.

I was thinking about how it would have been had my Mom watched her. I would have had the worry about my Dad being around my kid or him telling my Mom he was going to tear up the house. I remember a couple of years ago seeing text from my little brother telling her that he was tearing up the house because he was pissed that she was babysitting. I think he’s just so terrified of my Mom being away from him that when it does happen, he can’t handle it. I could just imagine being at my class with her texting me saying that I needed to hurry up because she was dealing with his drama.

I find it to be pretty much bullshit that even on the rare occasion I need a babysitter, my Mom is not an option. He’s made things so miserable for her and has made things so miserable for me that I know better than to even ask. It makes me very angry that my daughter and I don’t get to have a relationship with her because of him. I can’t rely on my Mom even once or twice a year to help me out because if she does, she faces consequences.

It’s like when he was completely against my daughter’s Dad and his girlfriend taking my kid. I think it’s because he didn’t like the idea that I may have had extra help so I wouldn’t have to ask my Mom to babysit where he wouldn’t get the chance to be weird and there could be more people to be aware of the fact that he’s a creeper. He’d go on and on about how her Dad shouldn’t be involved and it’s like why do you give a fuck? This isn’t your child and it’s not affecting you whatsoever! I’m not going to keep my kid from her Dad just to protect someone else! If I keep my kid from her Dad, it’s going to be for my own reasons because I’m the one to have to live with that decision!

I’m just so grateful that my brother watched her and I got it done so I don’t have to worry about it anymore. I wanted to get it done asap so that I didn’t have to deal with it anymore and honestly my brother and I have falling outs that there’s no telling if we would even be talking if it would have been scheduled at another time. Everyone has made me asking for them to help with my kid so traumatizing that it’s nerve wracking making arrangements for my kid that I worry more about her than what I’m actually trying to do.

I was absolutely exhausted getting up this morning. My daughter definitely drug her butt getting up and having a bath. I plan on doing dinner and going to bed when we get home tonight. It was a late night last night and I’m definitely happy to not have to worry about it again.

I’m making pizza. I’ll probably have some for lunch and then heat it up later for dinner. I’ve showered and have just a few minutes before I leave for work.

CS. I sent another email a few minutes ago. My last one went unanswered and I talked to the supervisor the other day where he mentioned they are going to push for another warrant. I’m not understanding why there wouldn’t be another court date since he hasn’t paid for 6 months but hopefully I hear back and if not, I’m going to make a federal complaint like I’ve done before. He had court a month ago and I’d like to know what we are going to do moving forward. I know I’ll never see any money but I’m not going to just sit and not say anything. I don’t plan to ever stop fighting.