I live this life everyday. in Since OD is shutting down....

Haha I just heard that line from a Jason Aldean song. Anyways, I just got done coloring my hair. I got it cut earlier so it’s a little bit shorter and she blended my layers so I don’t have just one anymore lol. I wanted someone to come color it but of course there’s no one so I didn’t it myself and used really awesome hair dye that went on white and doesn’t smell horrible either. I have to shower soon and then probably get my laundry done. I bought groceries yesterday from Walmart and a few more from another store. It’s just so nice to hang out at home and get to relax. I plan to shower, get laundry put in and probably watch Dog and Beth on the hunt. I do have some Med Term homework to do but I have most of it done and have until Tuesday morning so I’m not completely stressed about getting it done right away.

My diet is going pretty good. I have completely eliminated soda, candy, and fast food out of my diet with the exception of the healthy shit like over easy eggs, garden salad and fruit from either Perkins or Denny’s. I absolutely love eating healthy and feeling better about myself. My anal tear is back. There was blood after I pooped a few minutes ago so I hurried and took a Ducolax and ordered some more Senna since I can’t find my brand new bottle that I ordered months ago. I searched everywhere and can’t find it so I just ordered more. I’m scared it’s going to start hurting but I’ll just deal with it as it comes. I am angry that it tore considering I’ve been eating a lot of fiber and drink water like crazy. Fuckin annoying as hell.

I was up until about 2 this morning since I hung out at my brother’s house last night and then left after my niece went to bed and they were starting to fight and then my friend from work came over and we spent hours just hanging out, I made her a few drinks and we just bitched about work. I was just exhausted when I went to bed and I’ve been up since about 10 this morning since I didn’t want to spend my day off sleeping. I am very tired but plan to just have an early bed time.

It feels so good to have a day off that actually feels like a day off. I love days where I can just get stuff done and then just hang out. I wish there was more people to come kick it but it’s whatever. I’ve thought about my ex some in the past couple days and it makes me realize I wish I had someone to get to know and make memories with and those thoughts get me down some but then I remember I’ll find someone when I’m supposed to.

I could tell yesterday that my brother and his girlfriend were not happy with each other and I would hear them fighting whenever I would walk out of the room with my niece so when she went to bed, I left. My brother got pissed because I wouldn’t stick around to play referee and what not but I told him that it was awkward and I was super tired from working and going to school. He acts like me having a life is just such an inconveinence and it really fucking pisses me off. I’m not going to stick around and listen to them bitch about each other as I honestly don’t give a fuck. Both of them are no fucking picnic and I’m not going to spend my free time playing counselor. I am just not really the person you want to run to with relationship problems as I don’t give any kind of a fuck. I’m glad i don’t have one and don’t care to hear about how other people just can’t get along. If you can’t make it work then break up, simple.

I haven’t heard from my parents since the other day when my Dad was blaming me for my Mom not getting her job and me telling them I wasn’t going to take responsibility for that one bit. He also said something about how my brother and I “won’t” help them at all when it reality we have helped, we’ve just stopped. I don’t know where they think we need to just give them money forever but we just can’t. I’m sorry that they aren’t in a good place but I’ll be damned to empty my bank account trying to “help” them. I really wish my parents would get counseling and start figuring out why they are the way they are and what they need to do to get into a different mindset then believing everyone else needs to figure out how to pay their bills.

I plan to start checking out gyms here in the next few days too. I can print an online free 7 day pass to anytime fitness so I may do that and go from there. I just don’t want to sign some contract or pay a ridiculous amount of money every month as I won’t be able to go all the time anyway and I want to see what all these places have to offer before I commit to anything. I may check out the YMCA again as that’s where I’d really like to go as I have gone there in the past and loved it and they are the only place in town that have a pool. I love to swim and it would be nice to to be to go swimming even once a week.