12 Sleeps to Departure - 21.09.14 in Your Face

I am in Dubbo, visiting my Heslop. We are having a good time.

I felt really great today, just happy and calm. Today I feel agitated and cranky with M, mostly after a conversation with a friend in Santa Fe who was genuinely surprised at why I had to re-do my visa application, and who said M had told a completely different story. I told him not to tell me, because it would upset me, but now I am dwelling on me. It just makes me feel shitty. And the friend didn’t mean anything by it, so I don’t blame him. M and my bullshit isn’t his problem, anyway.

Hopefully I can process this and go back to feeling good. I’m tired of dwelling on this crap.

I have applied for seven jobs since yesterday. I have three more to submit, but I need to prepare more detailed applications. There are a lot of legal and office admin jobs, I really hope it doesn’t take too long to land something. M is in official panic mode over money, which is irritating. Not to discount his worry, because I worry about everything, but I’m finding it hard to be understanding. I am still harbouring some blame about our situation that I haven’t yet gotten over.

Anyway. I am going to dinner tonight with my Heslop and a couple we know (the ones who drove me to Dubbo with them) and that will be nice. I’ll have a good time and try to forget about all these negative feelings.