Better to be Better in Everyday Ramblings

My energy is still a little on the punky side but I navigated a full and active day yesterday for the first time this week and it was a joy.

I had a training to give up on the hill and that is one of my favorite things to do. It is weird for an introvert to say, and of course I am always just a little nervous, but I am enthusiastic about what I am training and I enjoy meeting the people I work with in person and seeing their work areas. It is actually fun. So that went well. I was embedded for a few hours in our inpatient pharmacy and it is one heck of a busy place.

Then came the most challenging part of my day. The woman that is the fearless and most excellent leader of our Women’s Circle, (we’ll call her H., because that is what her husband is calling her on his blog), had a massive heart attack on Wednesday alone on her way to an appointment. She was not in her car thank goodness, but on foot, walking from her car.

Someone, some unknown someone, called emergency services and they were able to start chilling her down and got her into the closest hospital, (the one I work for) quickly. Her heart was definitely stopped; she died. They brought her back.

By yesterday she was off the ventilator, still in the cardiac ICU unit, and coherent enough to recognize her husband and be pissed and uncomfortable and whispering that she most definitely wanted to go home.

Wow. That is when I stopped by to see her.

It was very hard to see her, shocking actually, in some deep way that is difficult to explain other than to say that it brings up all of one’s own vulnerabilities and the complications of human relationship. I had just seen her quite recently and my last interaction was positive.

I have known her for almost the whole time I have been in Portland, close to 16 years, not well, but consistently. We have a complex relationship, as she is not an easy person to be close to. She is funny and prickly and insecure. She is a very liberal retired college professor that has turned to painting in a big way over the last 20 years. I had not met her husband until yesterday.

He is clearly just madly in love with her… something that never came out when she talked about him. I found it so touching to see that.

We don’t know if she will survive this and what her quality of life will be.

Last night working over at the studio with my private student, who also knows her, was an interesting and helpful experience. We talked about it throughout the practice. I had her do some more restorative poses then normal and just rest while we oh so gently stretched and strengthened her lower back.

I am sobered by the events of this last week but also thrilled to be active again and am looking forward to the unfolding fall weekend.

“…Surely some revelation is at hand…”

Last updated September 20, 2014