11-Jan in --

Rheumatologist thinks I have early stage lupus.
I have to get more tests and x-rays to confirm it.

I haven’t processed this yet but what I do know is that I’m so very exhausted and I miss my old self. I miss how determined, passionate, funny, and gritty she was. I feel like a shell of who I used to be. I feel bad every single day and I don’t know how to fix it.

Maybe I’m closer to getting my life back. I guess I have a lot of road ahead of me. As always.

I’m just so tired. Beyond tired. There’s no word to accurately describe it.