Went in Riverdale

Went

So I went to the orientation it went well, a lot of diversity.

Be good to be busy again doing things, making $$ and learning and trying new things.

But alas it is not perfect. The participants seem nice and all but I don’t feel yet anyways that I can really connect or relate to anything them a lot of them seem a lot younger. I don’t know if this will hinder things for me I know that the “synergy” of a room can be important.

I guess I say this because I know that part of the reason I didn’t get into the last program was because they tested the synergy thing and most of the participants I’d say we’re raging loud extroverts and it was hard for me to get in a word edgewise.

I am mostly using it for what I can get out of it. Experience, money food and I guess the people. I dunno I don’t really connect with most people I meet it makes me feel like a psychopath sometimes. I feel like I am nice and funny and all that and people probably like me and don’t mind me but when it comes to anything deeper or more sustaining I don’t really “fit” in. I don’t really want to and ppl I think something can be affronted by that maybe take offense to it. I do my own thing pretty much and I don’t like to be so cautious about what I say and do, I don’t like to worry too too much eventually about what ppl will think. Not that I am offensive but because I am honest and unfiltered at times. Yet at the same time I can always think of something perfect to say.

Never less sometimes I feel out if my element and different. And not just in a superficial different way but like Deep down different. I want to believe that it’s not true and maybe it’s not completely true. Maybe most ppl just hide their differences more or better I dunno.

Anyways I am glad for the opportunity anyways. I was really not getting up to much Except my sewing course so now I have more going on and I would like to add something more as well to keep myself busy and replace the sewing because that’s almost done.

I am thankful for my great counsellor who is so generous with the resources she gets and refers me to.

I am going to try to go see her tomm in person I think.