Interview, school, not enough sleep. in Since OD is shutting down....

I’ll talk about my interview first. I believe it went rather well and I should know within a week if I get hired or not. It was a group interview type thing where it was only me and 3 other chicks who showed up. They showed us a video and then we interviewed separately with 3 different people one on one. I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I would be and was funny, engaging, and friendly. I’m hoping to God I made a good enough impression to get offered a job! I was there for like an hour an a half too. Kinda lengthy but I’m hoping for the best!

Then afterwards, I went to my school with my mind made up to either taken incomplete on everything or withdraw, but have decided that I’m gonna go, at least until I know if I got that job or not and find out when the training will be and see if my I can work my classes around that schedule and the 2 classes I’m taking right now I need for Phlebotomy so I’m gonna stick it out at least for now. I do have until November 19th to withdraw if I choose to so I’m good. I haven’t gone since Monday and I have a test tomorrow morning and one Friday morning so I’m gonna go to my class here soon and then come back home and study my ass off until I have to go to work. It was completely stupid to not only not study but not even do the homework in those classes! God damn it, I’m so mad at myself now! I know I will probably do okay on one test but the other I know I’ll fail because I’ve already failed the first 2 and that was studying like crazy and this time I won’t get to study as much. I know I’m gonna have to see the tutor, I’m just dragging my feet because I hate having to ask for help.

Work wasn’t too horrible last night but then again i was in a good mood from my interview and I’m praying I’m not going to be there too much longer. I go from being extremely excited about hopefully getting that job to being nervous about leaving the one I’ve been at for almost a year but then I remember how much of a shit hole it is and how I’ve taken it in the ass from the day I got hired an I know I’m ready to bounce. I just don’t want to be too excited and then be tremendously let down if they don’t hire me. If they don’t, I still plan to find something but the hospital is my top place I’d like to work.

Then I get home last night to a note on my door stating that they are coming to do their inspection Thursday at 9am! Wow, a 2 day notice?! That is such bullshit and I’m gong to mention it at some point. I won’t be here as I have to leave by 8:40 because I have a class at 9 but I find it really ridiculous and inconsiderate to not give at least a week notice! I did a whole bunch of cleaning last night but I plan to come back from my class this morning and get a bunch of stuff done like mop, vacuum, and put a bunch of shit away.

I’m super tired. I’ve been getting up before my alarm goes off and sometimes I’ll pass out before it goes off and then I get up even more tired. I’ve been stressed about school and my interview so I haven’t been sleeping like normal so I’m extremely excited for Saturday and Sunday to come so I don’t have to set an alarm. Sleep is so awesome and I wish I got more of it. It hasn’t been that hard getting up at like 7 or 8 everyday but it would be nice if I didn’t have to.

I haven’t talked to my parents for a couple of days. I don’t really like to because they don’t care what’s going on with me and are always mentioning their money problems, hoping I offer to help pay them. I was talking to my brother’s girlfriend about them yesterday and she thinks that my brother and I need to talk to my parents and set down some boundaries with them and stick to it when we say no. My parents know if they cry around enough, my brother or I will end up giving in and giving them money and that’s not ok. I know even if I give them money it’s not much but neither one of us should do it at all. My parents need to at least be adults if not parents too. I don’t know when the roles got changed around and my brother and I become the parents but damn it if this shit isn’t getting old!!! I really wish my parents would understand that it’s their job as adults to make good life choices and start caring more about their situation then they do. They wait for everyone else to figure it out and that’s just not happening anymore.

I remember not having a job and what kind of headache I went through having to worry all the time about bills, my car breaking down, health issues and I finally got the the point where I got sick of it! I had to pull myself up by my own power and get a job and had absolutely no support system doing it so I feel like if I could do it (especially by myself) then my Mom can too. It just seems like she’s waiting for God to shit a miracle for her instead of getting out there and just getting whatever job for now and start getting a steady income again. I understand about her depression but it’s not helping her to just hang out at home either. She acts like if she stays home and does nothing all day long that her depression will just go away or something. I’m also sick of hearing about her issues but not one fucking thing about what she’s doing to make them better! I also got sick of her excuse of, “I’m waiting for my crazy pills to kick in” even after she had been taking them for 3 or 4 months! Like really?! Well if they haven’t kicked in by now then it’s probably time to figure something else out!

I just wish I could have a normal, healthy relationship with my parents but they’ve always been like this where there’s always drama and negativity. They’ve always been those people who only come around when they need something. They’ve always mooched off everyone. They could care less about you or your problems and even if you tell them you are depressed, suicidal even they will still ask for money! Like whoa! If they want to sit around and talk about me and I’m just this horrible person then they need to spend some time thinking about the way they’ve treated me and all the reasons I probably have to keep my distance!

I have to get going here soon. I have to return a couple of things which means I have to go to the UPS store and that’s not my favorite place. Those people who work there are fucking rude and are complete and utter assholes who don’t know what they are doing. They fuck up my shit every single time I go there and it’s just so fucking annoying! If I have an issue today, I’m going to let them know what I think of them seriously!!!