My heart will go on in Riverdale

Smooth sailing

So I’d say right now I am pretty content with things and I like that because I am not used to not feeling stressed or sad.

I got a gig/job working As a peer health educator. I’m nervous but excited. I just hope it’s alright.

I applied to some other jobs so we will see if I hear back from those ones as we’ll. I hope so just in case this one isn’t that great or I hate it.

L came by last night we watched a movie and fell asleep. He was calmer than usual it was nice. He hardly comes to my place. I always anticipate that he’ll push me away any minute now. I always feel the second things feel right with us it goes all wrong. I’m keeping my distance and it’s not too hard because I am getting busier.

I am going tonight to see Wicked with my moms. I’m excited should be good.

I didn’t go to my sewing class today but no biggie. It’s just independent project time. I’ll be there next week.
I think I’m either going to make a bag or a ruffled pillow. It’s actually good I didn’t go because I am thinking if buying my own fabrics and stuff to bring in.

I’m pissed off about the birth control
Pill I’m on. I’ve been spotting for ten days and about seven of those days I had major cramping. I’ve been meaning to go to the dr to switch north control. Maybe the Nuva ring?

I looked up my ex for some reason. He blocked me on FB. But I found a way around it by just googling him I sent him a message. Maybe I shouldn’t have but whatever. I don’t feel like saying much more. He’s fatter than before and looks older. Lol. I miss him still the bittersweet times and the cruelty that came after.
I still don’t completely understand it. His new woman is complete opposite of me I think. She’s Muslim and covered pretty much. Such a different leap in a way. I don’t know what to think…

I still don’t feel it’s over at times because how it left off. I wanna hear from him still. My heart yearns for him still. But it is what it is I guess. What can I do but move on with my life. He’s obviously moved on quite quickly w his.

I gotta go.