Just a quick entry. in Since OD is shutting down....

It’s about 1am here and I’m looking to get to bed because I don’t want to spend my day off sleeping. So, I have my interview at the hospital at 10:30 Tuesday morning. I don’t want to spend a lot of time on what my plans are because I’m tired and still sick but I want to put my thoughts somewhere and look over them later.

I am probably going to change my college plans. I talked to a chick that I used to work for about college (she just got her degree from the college I go to) and she said that if I just go to them and tell them I have too much going on, they’ll just give me incompletes in my classes and then that way I won’t lose my financial aid and then I can come back next semester. I am just too overwhelmed as my program is a 57 credit course and I just don’t think it’s the right one for me anymore.

What I’d like to do is just put college on hold for now, go back next semester and do Phlebotomy. I think that would fit me better because of a lot of reasons, mainly because it’s only a 9 month course and just more realistic for me. My brother thinks that I’m just overthinking everything and am just too overwhelmed to see that I should probably just stick with it for now and whatever but I’ve been feeling like this even before the semester started. I don’t want to end up owing a shit ton of student loans, especially for a degree that I may not care about later on. I know that if I was able to get into Phlebotomy, I would be a lot happier as it’s more interactive and I’d be helping people directly instead of sitting at a desk typing records.

I’d like to say I’m not excited about my interview at the hospital but I’d be lying. I’ve always wanted to work there and if I got hired, it would be a dream come true. My brother’s girlfriend works there and she’s the one that has really helped me in this process because when I first applied, I felt that it completely hopeless for me to work there because of my school schedule and I would be working rotating shifts but if I put school off for a few months, I would be able to do my 3 week training and by the time school started again, I would more than likely be able to have a more set schedule or I can transfer to a different college where I’d be able to do classes online, in the evening or during the day. The college I’m at isn’t that flexible. It’s either classes during the day and there’s only a select few that are offered online.

All these decisions would be a lot easier if my job wasn’t such a shit hole. I just can’t be there forever and want out of there as soon as I possibly can. I don’t want to be stuck there for another winter. I’ve been there almost a year with no pay raise, no benefits, no paid vacation and put up with more bullshit than what it’s worth on the daily. I understand now more than ever what I’m worth and I’m worth more than that place and how I’m treated. The other night, the 2 worst managers were there and they are so lucky I have car payments or I probably would have told them to fuck off. I’m just so tired of being talked to like shit and especially for minimum wage + tips. The place is a fucking joke and I’m ready to leave it behind. It’s scary to think about leaving it behind but it’s a scarier thought to think about staying too much longer too.

I just hope and pray I get this job at the hospital. I’m scared to death I won’t get hired but I’m gonna do the best I can and just hope they like me.

Anyways, I need to brush my teeth and go to bed.