Pregnancy Continues to Schlep Along Well in Inside My Head

I am about 6/12 months pregnant. I started to feel the baby move about two weeks ago. At first it sort of felt like gas bubbles or something, but soon began to feel like infrequent but distinct soft nudges. The nudges have been becoming stronger and much more frequent. Many women complain, but for me it’s incredibly comforting. I can’t see it or hold it, but at least I know that it’s doing well enough that it’s moving around. I want this baby more than anything. It’s like the year and a half of stress, negative pregnancy tests, and the pain and heartbreak of a miscarriage were worth what I am feeling now.

I am having a baby boy that so far appears to be healthy and developing well. We had the anatomy ultrasound done several weeks ago. The tech assured me that everything looked normal. Since the scan was done at the hospital where I work, I can log into the computer system and look up the report, just to make sure. I wasn’t supposed to know the sex of the baby. The doctor told me that they wouldn’t even put it in the report just to make sure that no one slips up accidentally and tells me. At the end of the report however it specified the genitalia as male. I was more relieved and excited about the normal results than the sex of the baby, but it’s still pretty incredible to know that I am carrying Michael’s son. I haven’t told anyone that I knew especially since I made such a big deal about not knowing. In the beginning when I was sure that I was going to miscarry I figured that knowing as little as possible about this baby would somehow make me feel less attached. I was attached as soon as the fertility center told me that my pregnancy test was positive. When I saw the baby for the first time in 8 weeks I wanted it more than I’ve ever wanted anything. Not knowing the sex really hasn’t mattered.

Artist

Last updated December 08, 2014