Ugh, decisions need to be made. in Since OD is shutting down....

For starters, I managed to get a cold. Throat hurts, can’t stop sneezing, can’t get warm and my body hurts all over. Lovely. Then, it decided to snow last night. It’s not really sticking but it’s just a little preview into what’s to come. It’s also another reminder that I need to get a different job.

The hospital called again yesterday and would need me to complete a 2 week training so I’ve emailed my instructors to see if I would be able to take a leave to make this happen. I really hope it’s going to be a go because things at work are not good at all. A lot of people are quitting or wanting to quit, the managers that were there last night made everyone upset by being rude and yelling around, everyone’s sick of being treated like shit. Something’s gotta give! I’m also tired of being told that I ‘have’ to do something especially when I’m told in a rude way and it’s shit that I don’t get paid extra for.

I’m also not too thrilled about college at this point. Sometimes I question if it’s really for me as the homework is hard, it’s never ending, and there’s just more to it then what I think it’s fucking necessary! I also hated my Composition class because it was 3 times a week, 3 hours away from my first class so I always had to come back and I hated how the instructor forced us to socialize EVERY SINGLE TIME! At the risk of sounding stubborn, I don’t like being forced to do anything, especially socialize! I have agoraphobia so it’s not easy for me to be very outgoing around people I don’t know, especially in a small classroom with at least 30 other people! I got to the point where I dreaded that class simply because i was sick of having to get into groups and discuss the fucking homework! This is the only class I’ve had to do this in and just thought it was ridiculous as well as pointless!!! So Monday he made us socialize yet again and that’s when I decided I was either going to see if I could drop the damn class or do it online but because it’s 3 weeks into the semester, I wasn’t able to switch it to online so they let me drop it. I have to go in tomorrow and sign the drop slip so that’s what I’ll do. I feel so fucking relieved it’s not even funny! Stoked that I don’t have to deal with it again until next semester when I can do it online!

I feel fucking awful but at least I’m only scheduled until 9 something and I’m off the next 3 days. I’ve had a lot of good food today such as over easy eggs, chicken noodle soup to help feed my cold. I just wish I didn’t have to leave my house but I need to make money so that I can buy some groceries tomorrow. I just really hope people at my work are going to be understanding that I’m not feeling well so I may make a mistake or two and if they aren’t going to be decent, then they can send me home early. Not gonna deal with the bullshit tonight. I fucking hate having to be there when I don’t feel good simply because they ignore the fact that you aren’t feeling good and bust your ass for fucking up anyway.

My brother and my Mom got their phones turned off yesterday. The bill wasn’t getting paid because my Brother couldn’t afford it and my Mom is still not working. It was behind like 3 months and Verizon wanted like $500 to turn them back on so my brother got a prepaid phone and I’m not sure what my Mom is going to do because she was supposed to start her job and that probably got fucked up since they weren’t able to call her. Always some excuse for her to not get or keep a damn job. She’s pissed that my brother got a phone but didn’t get her one even though he can’t afford to and it’s really not his responsibility.

I’m gonna go take a bath and get ready for work. I’m praying to God I have a halfway decent night at work. I haven’t made much money all week and it’s really starting to piss me off but it’s just further incentive to get into something else. I just want to work at a job where I make a decent enough hourly wage where I wouldn’t have to worry about making tips, have benefits and get off when I’m scheduled to. Oh and be able to get scheduled breaks would be nice.