Dreamstride in Current Events

I had myself a Merry Little Christmas.

It was a depressing day. A depressing weekend, really. I wasn’t depressed, I just did fuck all. Nothing to do, no people to see. It’s a dream come true but I am going to feel guilty about it anyway. I could have been more productive by a lot.

After I realized how depressing my weekend was I decided to work on my website. All I did was make it pretty. I also started drafting content for it. Now I can’t sleep because I got my creative juices flowing. I’m poor so for Christmas I’m giving people my opinions. lol I saw that in a meme.

I remembered how crippling my social anxiety can be. Going back to school was a nightmare. Going to a gym is even worse but here I am doing both. I think a lot of my fear about creating content is that I will be making myself vulnerable. It’s nothing but attacks on the wild wild web. I lost a lot of connections I had on PB when I started to voice my opinions on things. It wasn’t the kind of blind support that the woke Taliban demands. If I get any growth on my socials I’ll just be getting death threats all day long. It’s bad enough in comment sections.

For my podcast, I think my best route is to stream with somebody else. Record it and break it down into sound bites. There is AI that can do that and even edit them to make them more captivating.

I think I will buy myself a reliable laptop tomorrow. I don’t know how I’m tolerating my desktop for anything. It’s so painfully slow. It’s ancient and I barely got it working a year ago. I just hate how slow I have been with paying off my credit card. Then I just put in a lot of money into my car. I gotta find a side hustle.

Anyway, I got paranoid about somebody being in the apartment so now I’m up. I’ll be tired tomorrow but it’s okay. I’m calling in sick. Well, I’m e-mailing my boss because nobody will be in the store. I’ll have to fib which makes me feel ick. I hate feeling insincere. I am having a brunch with my family, that’s what we do for Christmas tradition now. Should be a good day. I could probably just send that email now and turn my alarm off. Thats what I’ll do.