Grumpy. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I get my daughter a bath and then we get breakfast. She decided she wanted to come with me to the toy drive. I had asked my brother yesterday where he said for me to get ahold of him this morning and he’d watch her for an hour. Well, we stood in line for almost 3 and got 1 fucking thing. It was easier to take her with then worry it was going to take more than an hour and have him blowing up my phone for me to get her. I love how I can watch his kid OVERNIGHT and a lot of the time, into the next afternoon but if he watches my kid, I have to be on a time restriction.

I’m just so glad to be back home where I plan to sit and rot for the rest of the day. I am just so tired of being completely on my own and knowing ain’t nobody trying to help. Literally ever. There’s another toy drive on Tuesday where I’ve already asked my brother a thousand times to watch her but I don’t plan to ask again and just take her with me. I’d rather just take her than have to worry that it’s taking too long and have to leave to pick her up.

It was probably 3 years ago, I took her with me to the same toy drive where a volunteer completely lost her shit that I had my daughter with me and I had to ask her to lower her voice and not scream at me in front of my kid. It’s not my fault that no one is ever helpful and I can’t afford gifts on m own. It’s totally bullshit that I’m left to do it all on my own but ya can’t force someone to parent their child.

I plan to not speak to anyone for the rest of the day. I’m beyond pissed off and need time to decompress. I’m glad that after the thing on Tuesday, I won’t have to worry about any more drives and we’ll be fine for Christmas. It’s pretty ridiculous that DBD is posting fundraisers, claiming to be a single parent to swindle money from people when he doesn’t even worry about her having anything for Christmas. He’s really lucky that I don’t comment and let everyone know that he’s never been a parent, his child barely knows who he is and that he owes her about 10 grand in support.

Since it’s not a priority for anyone to get my daughter Christmas gifts and no one is ever willing to watch her so I can get her gifts, I won’t worry about buying for anyone else either. I’m seriously so done with this shit I could fucking puke. I’ve decided that I’m going to buy gift cards with every paycheck so Christmas and her birthday will be covered.

We’re gonna go to that toy drive on Tuesday and I will never sign up for this shit again. It’s awful to have to sign up for this to begin with but it’s just such a hassle having to take my daughter with me and fear that someone is going to flip out like before. Just once if someone were to watch her, I would be so appreciative but no one ever will.