Custard Filled, Chocolate Glazed in Hello

My favorite doughnut.

Had one after dinner.

Speaking of unhealthy diets, I’m trying to ease up on the candy. I have massive sugar cravings at night. You see, night time was my (heavy) drinking time so it makes sense I’m craving a sugar fix. Monday morning my stomach was torn up. Ate a bunch of Jolly Ranchers late Sunday night and that was the end result. Doesn’t help I found the ever elusive two flavors in one Jolly Ranchers at Walmart. Those are so addicting!

I’m having a restless night. The brain doesn’t want to shut up, go figure. My color was called today so I had a widdle test. It’s cool, I’m clean. I only have four more outpatient meetings left and still have yet to do my community service. Figure I’ll knock that out this weekend. Except Saturday, family is doing the dinner-thing and playing Dirty Santa.

The way my SIL is acting it’s almost as if she doesn’t want to have Christmas at her and my brother’s this year. Honestly, I’m okay with that. It just feels like every year it’s one big hassle to get everyone’s working/off days aligned to get together. Plus the last few years we’ve only exchanged gift cards. Kinda takes the meaning out of a thoughtful gift. I’m not complaining at all, I’ve used all the Amazon cards for books and video games. It’s just very impersonal. Speaking of Amazon I ordered two tshirts and two more books today one of which isn’t released till January.

I’ll be adding more from my rehab journal soon. I’ve switched my drinking habits to candy (obviously) and video games. I mean I played games before, but I was usually drinking while doing so. There have been so many times I’ve gotten back to a game at a later date to not remember just what the hell I did/was doing when I hit that high mark of intoxication. When you drink like I did, it’s not surprising.

Tomorrow…today…will be 47 days sober. Mom told me today she’s proud of me for not drinking. She said this as I had the PS controller in my hands and a mini cigar hanging from my lips. Ha! Speaking of which I need to go by the cigar store and get another pack of Al Capone’s. Smoked the last one today. That’s been my daily treat. European style cigar, about the size of a cigarette. Love the smell of cigar tobacco. Mmm

Got court Friday, it’ll be the first time seeing the judge since I got out of rehab. That should be interesting. Apparently she’s been pissed with people lately (failed drug tests/further law infractions) and have been locking them up. For once I can say my nose is clean and I’m on the right path. Kinda weird for me to say that without a hint of sarcasm.

Anyways, it’s late and I need to do one more load of laundry.

✌️ Y’all!

4:30 AM
Hm, seems I’ve mentioned my sugar night time craving a few entries back. Oops…

Smokey is laying on my lap/legs and he’s putting off a nice warmth. It’s currently 33 F out according to my phone. I corked the front door with a bedsheet using a butter knife. Very drafty in the foyer and you can definitely feel it here in the living room.

Face it, I’m not sleeping tonight.

Think I’ll go shave the dome and face soon and take a shower. I skipped one yesterday and feel a bit unsanitary now. Bring in the speaker and play some tunes while the hot water reddens my skin. Sounds nice…

When we went to the mall last week I bought a black beanie with a skeleton flipping the bird with one hand while raising a bottle to it’s mouth with the other. The caption reads, “Heaven Was Full.” I’ve never been much of a hat guy but it’s funny and keeps my dome warm. 😁

The order from Swiss Colony came in yesterday. I’m tempted to crack into the smoked bacon cheddar spread for a snack. Then again I’ll be hungry for actual breakfast in an hour or two. Methinks strong coffee and oatmeal. So strong I want my spoon to melt in the cup when stirring in the milk.

Figures, insomnia on a night where I have a bunch of errands to run today plus outpatient at 8:45. Eh, I’ll go smoke some crack…

Last updated December 13, 2023