things in Each Day

• I got my stitch out today. When I said I was doing my fitness test on Thursday she laughed and said “no you’re not”. I replied with a laugh and, “yes I am”. She then gave me tips to wrap my finger and finished with, “and if you need to you can always come back and we’ll stitch you back up!”
• Jinx took a turn for the worse today, we don’t really understand what is happening since the latest symptom is so far removed from the issue at hand. We contacted the vet and bumped up our appointment to 12 tomorrow. The phone call to my boss (he needs deserves a better name) was the first time I managed to cry in this whole situation.
• M has been an mess and it’s so disconcerting to see him like this because he’s usually so stoic. And my emotional blankness is such a weird contrast of who I normally am, too.
• After pushing Jinx’s appointment up I realised that this will likely have a negative effect on my fitness test. And that was the thing that made me tear up, which made me mad at my emotions. When I spoke to my boss (who has been incredible supporting me through the year long bullshit of my fitness test) he said I should do it anyway, that he’ll be there to “cheer you on, yell at you, speak softly, whatever you need. We just need to get you through this so we can move to the next step”, i.e. promotion.
  I love him.
  I’ve resisted saying that because he’s my boss, but he’s one of the best people I know, I certainly wouldn’t still be working here if it weren’t for him.

I’m going to go to bed and hopefully unconsciousness can give me a reprieve from the awfulness of reality.