Merry Crisis in Current Events

Have yourself a merry little crisis…

I knew that it was going to be bad when I took my vehicle in today. They found next to no issues the last few times that I took it in for an oil change and tune-up. Today I just wanted my oil changed and my winter tires put on. I braced myself for big expenses but I did not brace myself for them telling me that they cannot even service the vehicle because it is so rusted underneath. Come spring, I will need a new vehicle. I did not want that on my crisis list right now. They repaired what they could.

A nice new car must be nice. I thought to myself the last time I crossed paths with Dustin at the gym. He is that childhood friend I’ve mentioned a few times. He was on his way out when I pulled in. I saw that he had a nice SUV. Now I get to shop for one because I manifest like that.

So my temp position is up in February, on the 16th. I will drop to part-time. I can survive but I cannot get ahead. I have looking for a full-time gig on my crisis list for 2024. I will be starting my second semester in February for this chem class. I will be applying for post-secondary in 2024 which feels like a long shot. That is on my crisis list for 2024. Then there is getting funding for that education, which is on my crisis list for 2024 as well. My roommate plans on leaving me in 2024. That is on my crisis list too. I can now add car shopping to my crisis list. Car payments, I can’t afford those living check to check right now.

-Job
-New Living Situation
-University
-Financing University
-Car
-Financing Car

This is where my Capricorn Venus wants me to find somebody that I can settle down with so that I can have all kinds of support. I haven’t had anything that I could hang on to since I lost that restaurant gig in 2019. It’s been neverending struggles and gut-wrenching anxiety. Not to mention that my hair is falling out.

I was also thinking about how much of a bummer it is that my eye candy at work is leaving. Then Jashan walks in. He’s in school, he works nights and I rarely cross paths with him. I forgot he existed. He walked right up to me to say hello and chit-chat. I can’t even think straight when he is around, pun intended. Then my eye candy from my OG location walks in. That was mortifying because I was looking down at my work phone when I saw somebody walk up to me wearing grey sweats. It’s the coldest day we’ve had this winter, this guy is a lunatic. I thought to myself. Then I accidentally saw VPL which was probably the point of wearing those sweatpants but then I looked up and it was Mason, the eye candy from my OG location, and it looked like I checked out his package on purpose. I know that I accidentally made a face when I saw… it. It was such an accident! He came to say hello and I had never seen him so animated before. He has no personality when he is on the clock, apparently.

The universe wanted to taunt me with what I can’t have. I’ll just go with that. Gays my age have died off from natural causes. AIDS or an overdose.... that was a bad joke, I’m possessed by Matt Rife. Cancel me.

My team got to deal with my bad mood today. I made fun of myself during the whole production and yes, it was a big big production. I let them make fun of me too.
I have to catch a bus to get my car after work. I’m thinking about just jumping under it. I said.
DO IT!! Emily said with her dark Capricorn wit. That is the kind of support I’m talking about.

This was the most reliable car I’ve ever had. It’s just a Dodge Calibre. It rusted because of the winter I was unemployed. My poor Jolly Dodger. I drove absolute beaters before that. I was not in a position to be picky when I bought her. One of my cars was literally held together by strings. I used a string as a door handle. I also went one winter without wipers. I just hate public transit with a passion, I would rather have my own vehicle. Even if I can’t afford to fix the wipers. I’m smarter than that now, I swear.

I am not going to class today because I really want to study for the test on Thursday. I don’t have the mental energy to start a new unit today. I also need to figure out what to do with my fragile little life. That needs to happen right now. At the drop of a hat. It just feels like I am being forced to create my own opportunities as there aren’t any falling on my lap. I need spiritual guidance. I’ll settle for Jashan and/or Mason on my lap actually… lol, um, nope.

I suppose it’s time to boss up and get my life right. I honestly just want to get drunk off my whiskey and stay drunk and dance to bad music.