Wednesday. in Since OD is shutting down....

So my daughter was super excited for me to drive her to school and then wait with her before she went inside. It definitely made my day. I got my sandwich and coffee, came home for a little bit and then went to my thing. I was able to get help with gas which was absolutely fantastic because I’m broke after paying for my car repairs. The girl that took me to my appointment the other day got there before I left and we visited some.

I got home and made tacos for lunch. I feel just so incredible about things. I guess I’m glad that the car broke down because I’m in a different mindset because of it. I just want to start working so I always have money to pay for more repairs or to be able to buy another vehicle. I’m really hoping I’m going to get a call about my job by Friday, they should have gotten my background check done by then.

It’s warm and sunny today. It definitely helps elevate my mood. I was watching a Tik Tok this morning about a lady who’s a lawyer and talks about custody with high conflict co parents and mentioned doing pick up and drop off through the school. I think that would be an absolutely perfect situation for us. I wouldn’t have to see him or talk to him and all communication would be through my brother. Overnights though aren’t really ideal because he doesn’t have a safe, clean place for her but maybe someday it could work out. My biggest issue is I don’t want to have to communicate or see him at all. The trauma is that deep.

One thing I thought about with my brother is the couple times I had mentioned my daughter’s concerns to the girlfriend is he didn’t want me to be aggressive so I’m bothered by the fact that BD messaged him the other day to let me know that he’s filing papers and I should expect a summons. I would have straight told him that why don’t we start with working something out first before we become aggressive and combative. I’m going to bring this up the next time he’s brought up. I made sure that when I texted her all of those concerns that I said I just wanted to get the story straight and I wasn’t making accusations.

I have always talked about getting a court order and I wouldn’t mind if there was one simply because then it can’t be threatened anymore and it would take the control away from both of us. I would LOVE for someone else to decide what should go on for my child because obviously me BEGGING HIM over the years to be a parent wasn’t working and then giving up is not acceptable either. I just don’t think this fool understands that even with a court order, he still isn’t going to have the control or access to me that he feels entitled to.

The other day when my brother told me that he’s ‘filing papers’ and how I should expect a summons, that just gives me more reason to have nothing to do with him. If I give in to that scare tactic, he’s going to keep utilizing it. Then he wouldn’t have to put forth the effort in getting a court order and actually planning on having her certain days for certain times because I’m engaging in the threats. I ain’t gonna live my life that way. If he’s going to do it, then he can go do it but I’m not going to be tortured in the mean time.