Relapse/Collapse in Current Events

I relapsed on every level. Am I going to be sulky about it? Absolutely. I’m throwing myself a pity party.

I’m being facetious. I don’t want to take myself too seriously but I do need to take myself seriously enough. I procrastinated to death on this lab I had to do that I don’t even know how to do yet. I’ll hand it in late on Thursday. I didn’t want to face the music. This also means that I have fallen behind on the new unit we just started. I’m weak.

I didn’t last the whole week on keto, I caved today. First thing after my nap. I just need better meal planning next time. I fell short by two days. Big whoop. I’m weak.

Then there is the NoFap… but I didn’t have that malfunction I mentioned before. Still, shame on me. Back to square one. I’m weak.

We just had a new moon in Scorpio and I wasn’t paying attention. My mind is on the right things. Just trying to will myself there. I’m at least pondering about what I need. The bottom line, doing things my way will not work. I can’t fix a problem with the same mind that created it. I should be reaching out for help. For guidance. I don’t even know where to start. I’m weak.

What does my body need? I have a few health concerns. I could try harder to find a naturopath.

What does my mind need? This I don’t know where to begin. Do I lose myself in self-help again? I didn’t get much from the counsellor I last saw. I think he learned more from me, honestly.

What does my soul need? Twin flame? Barf!

What do I need? That is the question.

My chem class needs me to get my life right and study already… so on with it then.