New stress. in Since OD is shutting down....

So they called and scheduled my appointment for next Thursday at 10am. I have to find a driver because at this one, they put you on an IV. I asked my brother who of course can’t and there’s no one else to ask. I called a place that helps with rides for this kind of stuff but they are booked so I plan to ask on Monday when I get to my thing and if they can’t, I’ll just take Lyft. My brother suggested my Mom where I told him she was to help me back in August and didn’t. She had mentioned how it ‘takes too long’ and they can’t handle sitting for about an hour. I refuse to even waste my energy asking because even if she said she would, chances are she wouldn’t show up anyways.

Everyone around me should be grateful that it isn’t them in constant pain and having your whole life being affected by back problems and then have to go through these procedures because it’s really painful. It’s like a tattoo but 10X worse. I’m already stressed out because it hurts so bad. I’m going to try and forget about it and not let it affect my weekend. It’s just another thing to be happy about for when it’s over.

I just think it’s bullshit how much I’ve helped everyone around me my whole life and now anytime I need help, I get to figure it out. I should have been like this any time I was asked for anything. I’ve bent myself backwards helping everyone else and now that I’m a single Mom with no support system?! That’s fucking awesome.

Oh and I had an orientation A MONTH ago and never did get paid for it. I remember the lady talking about then only paying once a month and it’s always to happen by the 8th or the 10th but I checked my account and there’s nothing from them. I made sure to upload my back account information and my DL but apparently they don’t plan to pay me. I remember her talking about how you wouldn’t get paid for the videos until you started working for them but I think it’s the same for the orientation. I never did hear back from them about starting and left several voicemails so it’s really bullshit that I wasted 3 hours and about $7 in quarters for parking and won’t get paid.

I love how all these slimy employers like to talk about how ‘no one wants to work anymore’ but fail to acknowledge maybe why. I had some jerk email me the other day about interviewing me on a Saturday. Okay, so my daughter and I get up at the ass crack of dawn EVERY MORNING but you want me to arrange childcare and come interview right away at 8am?! It’s great how they want to make sure that it’s convenient for them but not you?! Probably fucking not. I didn’t even bother to respond. If we can’t arrange an interview DURING THE FUCKING WEEK, I’m not even going to waste my energy!

I would just like to know if this kind of shit goes on in other cities. I just find it crazy how unrealistic shit is when trying to get a job. I admit, as of right now I’m not super concerned because I have so many other things that I have to worry about getting done before I can even attempt to have a job where I’m on my feet. I really hope with this upcoming procedure, I’m going to be able to stand up in the same spot and not be in massive pain anymore. It really brings me down knowing that I can’t do what other people can.

My back pain is a daily stressor. I always worry about going places and not being able to sit down or if I’m on my feet for too long that I’m going to throw up or pass out. I will say that it’s a little better than it was before my injections but it’s still super painful and runs my life every day.