NoJoMo 23:7 in NoJoMo 2023

What’s your biggest pet peeve about yourself?

I’m incapable of forming habits, with the singular exception of putting on my seat belt every time I get in a car.

Let me give you an example: For most people, brushing your teeth is an unconscious action, right? You don’t have to think about it, you just do it. I’m 35 years old, and every time I’ve brushed my teeth in my life, I’ve had to think about it, tell myself to do it, and then do it. And yes, there have been times when I’ve realized, in the middle of the day, “I didn’t brush my teeth this morning.” Fortunately, it hasn’t caused any major issues, because I can’t stand the way my mouth tastes if I don’t brush.

Now, take “brushing my teeth” and apply it to other things that are, or by my age should be, habitual: Exercising. Having a bedtime routine. Getting up at a set time each morning. Eating. Doing laundry. Scooping my cat’s litter box. None of those are habits for me. They’re conscious actions. Even if I do them “consistently,” it never becomes second nature.

I’ve learned to be nicer to myself about needing to go, “All right, [Mulling], now we’re going to brush our teeth,” and “Smudge’s litter box needs scooped, let’s do it now,” and “Oh, it’s 8:30 and we still haven’t exercised? Well, the kettlebells are over there, you know what to do.” Because even if I need to tell myself to do it every day, as long as it gets done, that’s what matters.

On the other hand: If I tell myself I need to do or get something and don’t either write it down or put it in my phone, it ain’t getting done. Example: Today, I needed to stop by the grocery store on my way back from Burlington and pick up some apples and onions for my dinner tonight (I’m making apple spiced pork chops), and I needed to get a small bag of Smudge’s litter to hold him over until my Chewy delivery on Friday. I didn’t write either of those down. Guess what didn’t happen? If you said “the apocalypse,” …Technically, you are correct. (Maybe. I’m not convinced these aren’t the end times.) But now I have to go out again and get these things. Meaning, using more gas and time.

…I also forgot to pick up a prescription this morning. //headdesk//

If you’re wondering, this is what ADHD as an adult looks like. That, and at least three other mental illnesses in a trench coat (depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and executive function disorder). I honestly kind of wish it was as simple as running around and yelling while setting things on fire; that, I think, would be a lot easier to treat.

And the prescription I forgot to pick up? Dexedrine. ADHD is constantly remembering the things you were supposed to do, rolling your eyes at yourself, and saying, “Battin’ a thousand today, aren’tcha, Slugger?” at least a hundred times a day.

Last updated November 07, 2023