NoJoMo Day 1 in NoJoMo 2023

Introduce yourself! Include a photo if you’re up to it.

Once upon a time I was falling in love
Now I’m only falling apart
There’s nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there’s only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

This exact day last year I had everything.
The perfect new job, health was in order, no short term or long-term worries, no tangible fears.
My biggest concerns were superficial self-image indulgences, and I was happily lavishing raining money on those feeble insecurities.
Life was grand.
Today, my life has no value, it feels like I’ve done everything right just to end up back here in this warm, dark room of depression. It’s a comforting place where I can sleep all I want, wake up when I want, eat whatever I want, yet have nothing else going on in my life.
No job, nothing to look forward to, everyday is a blur and I have no idea how to define myself anymore.
Never believed I deserved anything good, never had the wants for the shiny things I see in stores, the relations people have.
All I ever wanted was to have a stable enough life, where I don’t toss and turn every night wondering how to fix yesterday.
I’m trying to make sense of it all and find reasons to continue living.

Last updated November 01, 2023