Interviews. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I showered very early this morning, got my kid up and ready and then went to the first interview. It’s a job where it’s not a set schedule and I’d only work here and there. I was told that the shifts would be anywhere from 12-16 hours and that’s not going to work because I wouldn’t have the childcare for it. He sent me on my way with a paper application and to do the background check. I won’t be filling it out or making another trip down there to turn it in.

The next interview was about an hour an half later. I get there and they put me with someone for awhile to job shadow and then they said the shift would start at 7am even though I was told over the phone it wouldn’t start until 8am. I can’t get my child dropped off at school until 7:40 because that’s when there’s adults to watch them. I’m very annoyed that I was told a different schedule over the phone than what I was told after wasting time and gas for the fucking interview.

So Mr. Man is out of jail. He got out Friday and they were friends again on Facebook but I just looked and they aren’t. She made a post about people having serious mental issues that hurt innocent people. I have no doubt she’s talking about him. I don’t have any fucking sympathy for her whatsoever. She had plenty told about him from me and she still chose to move him in and take care of his sorry ass. Plus the fact that I’m sure she was the one that bonded him out and chooses to keep fucking with him.

Friday we went with my brother and walked around a different town. I had him unblocked but then I thought about everything that’s gone on and I’m just not going back down the same rabbit holes. I fucking refuse. Even though he’s about a mile down the road, I promise he still wouldn’t help with her and I’m not even willing to re open that same can of worms. He’s only ever cared to see her when things aren’t going well for him, he has nothing else to do or to impress a new supply. I’m tired of my daughter getting hurt because he’s only ever worried about himself.

I have no doubt that he was probably trying to get her to come back and get him and because he was told no, he went ballistic on her. The guy is fucking crazy and that’s why I stay the fuck away from him. He can’t handle being told no and all he does is become abusive. I’m sure he’d LOVE to go back and live with her to avoid the CS issue but I’m sure she’s thinking that she’s gotten rid of him and wants to keep it that way. He sent a friend request this morning around 5 and I didn’t respond and have since blocked him. I just can’t keep trying with this person because he just doesn’t care. He wants whoever he fucks with to be more caught up in him and the drama he brings and I can’t do that. I have more than enough to deal with and I’m not going to worry about his bullshit.

They definitely have some drama going on. She made a post about POS got his way, fucking loser. He commented and said, “you’ll be okay, it’s just dick” so yeah, he’s still the same mean, crazy fuck that he’s always been. I’m guessing she’s pissed because she was probably the one to bond him out. It even says on the website that if bond is posted for CS, it’s non refundable. He’s really good at making someone feel sorry for him so he gets what he wants and then will turn around and make you sorry for it. It’s like he enjoys stabbing you with your own knife. I remember when I told him I had dropped the protection order and his response was, “well good now you can’t call the cops on me” this is just the person that he is.

I love that I get to just sit back and watch the drama unfold. It’s not me dealing with it and it’s not affecting my daughter. This dumb bitch knew what she was getting into. I still wonder like why she didn’t bring him back but then bailed him out of jail and now there’s like hella drama. I think it’s stupid that she’s pissed off and making posts about him and obviously deleted him as a friend but all her shit is public so he’s still commenting to get that rise out of her. She’s giving him what he wants on a silver fucking platter. I remember doing that shit a thousand times until I realized that he LIVES to have drama and chaos and is going to get it with anyone who has contact with him.

The posts are gone now. I’m just really grateful that I chose to block him and not even attempt to go down that same dead end road. He’s just crazy and mean. I’m glad that drama is with someone else and it’s nice to see it. He LOVES to sit there and say how he’s just used for his dick but that’s all he has to offer and is always on sex sites trying to find hook ups. It seriously doesn’t make sense. It’s great that he lived off that girl for 5 months and she more than likely posted his bail. I’m sure he made it super clear that she wasn’t going to get paid back and that’s what set it all off. I have no sympathy. She knew enough and still chose to get involved with him.

There’s gotta be a mental diagnosis for him. It’s just not normal to be this mean, hateful person and just tear down people just because you feel like it. There just has to be so many undiagnosed mental problems within him. How the fuck do you just go around with the intention to create drama and destroy people. He needs to get a lot of help. I have always mentioned that as well. I don’t think he’s mentally healthy to be around my daughter and with him telling her negative things about me just proves it. He just wants my daughter to tell me the things he says so he can get my reaction. I am not going to stand for anyone trying to poison my daughter against me. He doesn’t care if she’s upset or internalizes the shit he says. All he cares about is getting that drama that he craves and doesn’t care if it’s at my daughter’s emotional expense.

I wouldn’t be shocked if they make up and he ends up going back to her house. We all know that he would be going back because it’s a free ride and he’s able to avoid his CS issues. I know that I’d like to see him held accountable but I doubt it’s going to happen. He’ll make sure of it just like he always has.

All I know is that this guy has done way too much for me to even consider trying to contact him. I remember so many times that we would get along for a few days and then have days where he’d alternate between being nice and then being crazy abusive or just really distant. I would know when he’d be fucking with someone else. He is the biggest fucking game player and I’m sure it’s exhausting for him to just play with people all day long. It’s amusing for him. I couldn’t imagine just having drama and crazy shit all day long. I remember so many times trying to keep him involved with our child and it just made me realize how much he didn’t care and that made me feel so alone. Do I really want to go through that again? Fuck to the no.

My brother and his girlfriend were telling me the other night to just let him see her and blah blah blah because once she’s a teenager I would have to worry about her drinking with him because she’s used to him being the fun parent and all this shit. I completely get where they are coming from but we have years before any of that could even happen and right now, I just want to worry about my own life and getting a job that works with my daughter’s schedule. There’s just no reason to get caught up.

Just like this time last year, he had been around a couple of days. He told her I was taking all of his money and she had problems at school for 6 weeks. My brother’s argument is she’s a year older now and it was her first full year at school. I get that but I just can’t keep doing this in and out drama filled shit anymore. I let him be around her and I’m the one that’s going to pay the price. I remember every single day getting calls from the school, having to pick her up early, getting suspended and almost getting kicked out of the after school program. I am NOT going through that shit again.

I guess it’s just I’ve been hurt too many times by him. I’m upset at how much my daughter would love to spend time with him but it’s only ever been on his terms. He cares selectively. I just can’t feel those same emotions anymore. I struggle with a lot of things as it is and I don’t need more to be upset about. I remember so many times just trying SO FUCKING hard to get along with him and it never lasts long. He’s just this crazy guy that wants to hurt anyone who crosses his path. I think if my brother tells me again that he wants to see her that I plan to let him know that I’m open to dropping her off at his house and he can go over there to see her. I’ve allowed him to be in my home and my car too many times where things just go horribly wrong and I also don’t want to see him or have to talk to him.

My focus now is to get a job within my daughter’s school hours and getting myself back on track. I just can’t worry about that guy and the drama he brings. I’ve said many times I don’t want him in my home and my car but yet I’ve still allowed it for my daughter but now, there’s no talking me into it. I have my boundaries and I’m going to stand firm now. The guy is just so drama filled and crazy. My daughter witnessed us argue in the car a year ago and that has stayed with me all this time and I don’t want to risk her hearing anything that she shouldn’t. I can’t be around that guy and I’m going to protect my peace at all costs.

As much as I’m glad to witness his drama with someone else, it’s extremely triggering and it makes me think of how much he’s gotten to me and created all kinds of problems that I will not deal with again.