A new question. in A transparent lockbox

There is this question that springs into my head at least once a day, at this point it could likely be considered a compulsion. “What if all I leave myself is my sadness?”, I’m not even certain when it began, but the more it arises the more I look inward about it. I think about all my isolating behaviours and how I don’t mind burning a bridge when it is no longer sturdy. But those aren’t the things that I think would leave me empty, in fact, those are integral to who I am. Where it stems from, I think, is trying to get into the careers that are the safe-bets, the ones that are simply jobs, the ones void of meaning, and that even though I may not leave myself with debt, I might leave myself with sadness.