Botox for migraines, depression,temperamental husband,why is everything so heavy? in Just Life

Today I sat and got 30 needles of Botox in my face,neck and spinal cord by a neurologist. The doctor promised me that it will help my constant migraines go away. It didn’t hurt to bad until she stabbed one of the bones in my neck. My headache got so bad. I felt so miserable for the rest of the day I regretted my experience immediately.

My husband was in a battling mood today. He kept wanting to argue at Krogers today because he was angry I was following him silently. He asked what my problem was and grew frustrated when I told him where I got 30 shots of Botox in my face neck head and shoulders. I have a headache and I don’t feel well. He kept demanded me to tell him what I wanted. I told him buy whatever he wants. He got upset when I told him here is my card pay for it I am going to the car to take my medicine. He complained at me till I cried. Every Time I tried to talk he told me shut up and than wondered why I was quiet.

After I got Botox from my neurologist I went to my other doctor. He refilled my medicines and asked me how my depression was. I am very depressed but it’s against my moral belief to harm others or myself. I have to stay alive to care for my schizophrenic mother. Since she been on latuda she is doing better.

I dropped him off at our house. He got angry because I wouldn’t carry his groceries in. I left shortly after and went to care for moms pets. Mom has 2 dogs and a cat. They are a bonded family unit. I sat in mom’s living room. The dogs were playing tag with the cat. I sat happy watching them play tag running from room to room. I gave them treats and hugs. The animals were the best thing that happened the entire day. I took the dogs on a walk and pet the dogs. The cat is feral and I am still trying to tame him. Shy the feral cat loves Temptations cat treats apparently the dogs love them too. Someday I hope to tame Shy enough to move him into my home. So far it hasn’t happened.

Yesterday was a better day. I did physical therapy. Went to The Great Googly Moogly in Fayetteville. My husband and I bought some books,candles and some tshirts. Next door to Googly Moogly is Secret Sandwich Society I wanted to eat there but Talan didn’t want to. I found tie dye angel wings and I had my husband take a picture of me in front of them.

Dinner last night we had chicken sandwiches Talan got mad because Mom ate his no mayo or tomato sandwich. I got frustrated went to throw the sandwich in the bag I accidentally knocked all the food over. Talan started cussing throwing a fit. I grabbed my keys went bought more fun. Cinder the kitten ate chicken nuggets for the first time while I was gone. When I came back Cinder tried to steal my nuggets.

I hope the Botox helps with my migraines between that and fibromyalgia the pain seems so heavy. The thought of suicide goes into my mind often but I know it will get better if I just wait..sadness just fucking hurts..