The D is Getting Around in Current Events

‘Tis the season for seasonal depression, apparently. Everybody seems to be struggling with their mental health at the moment. They’re aware that it is seasonal depression. I’ll just call it an emotional detox. The way the body removes waste and repairs damage between seasons, aka the flu. I read into my depression way too much and perhaps that’s all that I am experiencing. I have seasonal depression and I am not crazy. I am going to try and convince myself.

It bubbled up again today at work. Is it me or are you quiet today? My supervisor asked me. That made me a little self-conscious about how I am projecting myself. I am a man, I can’t show pain and fear. I’m usually pretty animated. I have a big personality. An annoying one that can take all the air out of the room. (Sun in 9H). I’m just thinking about my test on Thursday. I told her the truth. I don’t need anybody to be worried about me or worse. What could be worse? You may wonder. The people pleasers could be making it about them and worrying that I’m mad at them. Gross!

I managed to fake it until I made it. The energy I gave my coworkers they gave back to me which created the synergy I needed to get through the day. I took a nap as soon as I got home. Now I feel refreshed and I’m ready to hit the books.

Depression makes one short-sighted. It’s hard to see past the pain. To when things will be better. It’s hard to see the opportunities. Even harder to see the beauty.

I was really getting angry about my class again. Is it really worth it if it is going to make you this morbidly depressed? My ride or die asked me. I didn’t really have an answer. That is my question of the day, every day. I overwhelm myself when I think about the long journey ahead. Let alone, the journey I am on right now. This really feels like I made a mistake. I thought to myself today. That felt like an epiphany. However, my ego is a lying whore. A cock juggling thundercunt. If I got to meet him in person I would kick him in the nuts… maybe not. It is the inner child. I need to develop a relationship with him and let him know that it will be okay. We’ve gone through far worse.

Anyway, my tea is ready. Time to study. I’m avoiding the math today. I’m just sticking to the philosophy and really drilling it in my head. Tomorrow I will torture myself with the math.

Oh! Marcello, one of my coworkers. I am trying to start an ongoing joke with him but he isn’t picking up what I am putting down! We are in the same age group, he seems to catch all of my cultural references from our day. Kids today don’t know about that one time at band camp! or Kids today don’t know the Teaches of Peaches. Anyway, I’m off for real this time.

Last updated October 02, 2023