Monday - 25-08.14 in Your Face

An extremely dull day at work today. Only nine more to go.

Another woman looked at my car today. Blah, blah, blah, I hope she buys it.

My documents would have reached the US Consulate today. I kept my face glued to my emails today, but received nothing. It was very optimistic hoping to hear something today. Tomorrow is more likely. I am just desperate to know the interview date.

Having the weirdest feeling lately after eating, or towards the end of my meals, which are normally large. I feel HUNGRY. Almost STARVING, despite having more than enough food in my stomach. It’s very confusing.

I can go and see my doctor when I finish up work. I will be able to afford the $80 fees to go ($36 of which I will get back). I really need to find out my test results and hopefully get an answer for my rapid heartbeat.

I’m thinking a lot about M, and actually being with him again. When I first met him in person, a friend of his drove him to the airport to pick me up. We sat in the back together and I smelled him and looked out the windows at NYC. It wasn’t until we got back to his apartment that I got a good chance to look at his face in real life. Webcams do no justice. His eyes moved differently, they were darker than I thought. He smelt GREAT. I had almost figured out his apartment configuration, but it was so weird to see it in front of me, after so long looking at pictures.

I wonder what the car ride back from the airport will be like this time. We’re nearly strangers all over again. Being back in Santa Fe will be strange. What will it be like when the two of us are working full time? We’ve never had that. I hope we can get similar working hours. Real life will come back, with groceries to buy, dishes to do. M always scrubbed the toilets, which was nice. Back to squabbling over which one of us steals the bedclothes and who ate all the cheese. I wonder which of us will take primary control over the finances. I did it for the last four years, but I prefer it when he does, as I can be silly and he is more sensible. I have learned from him, though.

I suppose I feel a little nervous about it. It’s stupid, although we’ve missed a year together, we’re still the same people with the same habits. I know what to expect, but we have a gulf to cross.

Strange to think about, anyway.