Do I need to shower (pics) in 2023 is almost over

8:56 am
9/20/2023

My birthday is in three days. I woke up at 7:06, SEVEN. OH. Six. NOT AM. NOT P.M. My phone doesn’t tell me if it’s am or pm. It just says 7:06, the date, and whatever alarm I have active. So I jumped off the floor and ran around trying to find some clothes that are not that dirty. Tripped over my cat, ran to the bathroom and flipped the lights on. Shook my phone and yelled at it wondering why the fuck doesn’t it tell me the time?!

THE XBOX!! It’ll tell me what time it is! It’s 7:06 am…

Oh thank god!!!

See what I mean when I say it doesn’t say am or pm?

So since I’m already up, I might as well start my hit the gym twice a day routine. Before work and after work. The gold thing about working 8 pm to 5 am is that I can stay up and sleep in. I can hit the guy before work if I wake up early, like now. AND I can hit the gym after work, go home, shower, pass out, and start when I wake up. Or in a sense I’m going before work since it’s 6 am and after? Right?

OH and I’m coloring my hair silver. I’m sure it’ll cost me a few hundred dollars since I’m going with this lady that does specialty hair colors.

I don’t want all of my hair to be silver. I want some black roots and that outgrown look. I can also FINALLY rock a small pony tail bun thing.

And a fat photo of myself from a year ago.

I posted those on Tinder and Facebook dating. That itself is a rabbit hole of shit I wish I didn’t see. Why do all the girls in there look like they need a bath? Shower. Whatever. Then that got me thinking, what if I’m the one that needs a bath? You know, like those people who shower and no matter what, they always look dirty. Am I one of those people?! IS that why they always show up as my potential matches?!

Looking through my photos, I have none where I look clean. I always look like I just woke up. Which is true because I just did.

Just dumb shit that fills my mind for a good day or two before I dwell on some other pointless shit.

I’m not trying to bash on anyone, but are they even happy with themselves? I KNOW I’m not happy with myself. That’s why I’m going to finish this shit and jump in the shower. Work out for two hours, come home, shower, get my laundry for the day done and then take a six hour nap and go to work.

I’ve been on tinder for about five or seven years and I just got two likes… Last month. I’m starting to think that I really am ugly and that reddit was right. When a ton of girls and guys tell you that you’re still fat and ugly and it’s 300 comments all saying the same thing, who am I going to believe? The ONE person who says I’m not, or the collective?

Probably because I look like I need a shower. I do have a shitty personality, so that too.