Tennessee in Just me

i am here in Tennessee, it will be 2 weeks on Wednesday. Staying with my cousin and her family. It has been quite a culture shock being here, so very different than California. People seem nicer, mountains are everywhere, definitely not like the flat ground where i live. There are also so many available jobs, lol not like home where 200+ people apply for the same job and turns out they hired someone within. The scenery is just gorgeous, and i love all the critters, Ron Weasley is a weasel i watch, bebo is a pretty brown dove that sometimes hangs around, but difficult to get a picture of, and my newest fried is a gorgeous owl that screeches, named screech, thank You Daddy 💋. i like it here, a lot. i feel i don’t really have friends back home, most were really my husband’s friends and when he passed away they slowly went away too. When we were younger, he was a jealous man, pushed all of my friends away, all except 1 that i still talk to sometimes but lives in anoter town. i am thinking of moving here, not set in stone yet, it will be a lot of work. i know i will have help finding a place, but i want to do what is right for me and my kids, and my parents too. i will go home soon and talk more with all of them and either try to make it work there, but still want to move off of the street im on, or move out here, or maybe even eventually Texas, where we have more family and my parents would probably move there. i don’t like the unknown and making decisions, i never really had choices before so its different and scary, but also somewhat exciting and new.

i love my Daddy, im pretty sure i always have. my communication wasn’t the best and i know that is a limit and its just bad all around to not have good communication. i don’t mean to, i know im in my head a lot, im often asked by family/friends what im thinking about, and don’t know how to answer because so many thoughts are in my head.. its like on the price is right, spin the wheel of thoughts and i will tell you the one it lands on. i know i zone out a lot, i don’t like that i do. Anways.. im trying to do better and not be in my head as much. i miss my Daddy, i miss doing things for him so much, i really loved doing as he requested today, i needed that. i know we are great together, i never want to lose Him. i want to be the best for Him in every way, and i know i can/will be. He is what i want and what i need, He is my Moon and my Heart.💙