Era in Current Events

I woke up and my head cold was gone enough for me to hit the gym. I wasn’t feeling 100% which might have been a mistake but I’m okay. I ran for almost an hour. As you can imagine, I was feeling a little flushed and dizzy once I got off the treadmill. I didn’t use any of the machines because I didn’t really have a plan. I should really look into that. Carly offered to do that for me once. She also offered to come with me to show me how to use the equipment. She works with athletes and does physio stuff. I’m going to go tomorrow morning with an action plan and do a back day.

I like to people-watch, but I kept having to stop myself whenever I tried to do that at the gym. Just no. I don’t want anybody watching me, lol.

I froze up once I pulled up to the gym again. I’m trying to leave my Fuck-Me era and start my Fuck-it era. It was just a small hesitation. Once I went in there those jitters went away.

I think I am a little hungover from the Whiskey. This cold is probably my body already purging alcohol from me. I’m going to take a long break from drinking. I was just in a great mood yesterday and I wanted to amplify it.

My Fuck-It era is me not overthinking. Not second-guessing. Not reading into every little thing. Not letting everything feel so intense. I managed to give zero fucks on Thursday when I didn’t go to class. Nothing felt like a big deal. Nothing was that deep. It was such a nice reprieve. I’m trying to not let that come back.

On that note, I really do have to study. Every time I even think about it I feel anger. I really don’t wanna but I am an adult which means that I have to do the things that I don’t feel like doing. Actually, most of my plans today were a bust after the gym. I did a leg workout at home and then I passed out after. I have that lethargic feeling that I recognize from drinking a little too much. My body was poisoned and wants me to rest.

After my nap, I made myself some green tea and decided to drag my ass to my computer to work on my projects. To my surprise, those two journals that I thought were not approved are both live right now. I’m going to upload a few more this evening. The collection is for 12. I have 10 more to go. Then I am going to work on trying to offer a hardcover with each next weekend.

After a cold or flu, I experience a little reset. I am just noticing that. I want to blog for my website but I feel no passion inside for any of the content. I have to get myself back into it. It’s not a big deal. I’ll just listen to some occult essays. I still have major brain fog anyway. I already know that I will not study this evening. I want to lay around and watch movies.

Not much going, I just felt a need to write. Basically, now that I am taking a class again, everything in my little world is going to get cleaned and organized as I avoid having to study. I’m still in denial that I have ADHD and that I’m probably on the spectrum. So on with my evening then!