a new idea for a job in poetry

maybe I should invent a job
called “impersonal trainer”
where you just yell into
crowds or into a camera:

HEY, YOU SHOULD EXERCISE
I DON’T KNOW WHICH MUSCLES
OR WHICH PART OF YOUR BODY BUT
YOU SHOULD TOTALLY EXERCISE

non-specific encouragement like:

YOU’VE DONE A NUMBER OF THAT MOVE
JUST THAT NUMBER MORE TIMES OF IT
KEEP SWEATING AND FEELING THE BURN
UNLESS YOU’RE NOT FEELING THOSE THINGS
THEN KEEP NOT DOING EITHER OF THOSE

just keep it really vague:

JUST A FEW MORE REPS
OR A LOT MORE REPS
OR NO MORE REPS
IF WHAT YOU’RE DOING
CANNOT BE MEASURED
IN REPS, DISREGARD

like as non-committal as possible:

COME ON, JUST A LITTLE MORE, LADIES
OR DUDES OR PEOPLE IN-BETWEEN OR
OUTSIDE THE DEFINITIONS OF
LADYDOM OR DUDEDOM OR SOME
MIX OF ALL OF THE ABOVE
JUST KEEP DOING THE THINGS
COME ON, KEEP DOING THE THINGS

I think it would be fun as hell
to be an impersonal trainer
I just don’t know how to
make a living out of it
because the more fun a
thing is, the harder
it is to make a
living off it

Last updated September 12, 2023