I Wonder How Much Sicker I Will Get? in Me Being Me

Hubby went to pay the rent yesterday and asked about the sawdust and if the spray can be used for a bandaid solution because she is just too cheap to get rid of the wood bugs for good. Evendently this costs too much money. So now I have sawdust comming from the ceiling in the laundry room and dead bugs falling. I know this will only get worse and at some point there will be no wood in the ceiling. It’s already been eight or nine years so what is another 8 or 9 years? And hubby’s brother might clean the mild by using watered down bleach but that won’t do much for what is behind the wall and then I told him I want some mold paint put on it. and as for the crack it is becoming a tripping hazzard but it’s not a big deal and hubby said he will buy some sort of mat to cover it. But then that is only a bandaid solution also.
And he won’t let me report her to anyone because she can evict us foir no good reason and he doesn’t want that. So I am between a rock and a corner and not sure what to do. But he did tell me he will be talking to her little by little to get these things fixed but I think he will get the same answers I have gotten and then I don’t think it will be safe to live here. And if I get sicker then what?
How can anyone be responsible for a rental until and not want to keep it up to code and to make it a safe place to live? is it because not enough rent is being paid or because it’s just too expensive to fix or because the owner is just too fucking old? I just don’t get it. If someone is paying money they really can’t afford to live in a place then why give the money to them if there are no benifits for it?
When I first moved in I really liked her because when I said something she actually listened to me and did fix things but then as the years went on she started to not fix things and I would be asking when it would be fixed. Like it took more then a year fir the dishwasher to be hooked up properly and it still is not working right. The two racks are all bent and the dishes don’t fit in properly and there are wheels missing from the racks. And the bathroom still needs a new vanity but that will never happen because she thinks taking the bottom shelf out and replacing it will be good enough. But what about the mold that is behind the pipes in the wall?
And I am not doing as much laundry that I would like to do because I am afraid the washer will start to leak again. And the dryer has tempature issues that need to be fixed and she won’t fix those either.
I wonder if I am making too big of a deal for all of this and maybe it’s not such an issue to be fixed? But every professional I have talked to said that these things need to be fixed and that they would come and look at it and give me a report but I can’t afford to do that and then that will be grounds for eviction according to the slumlord.
I did tell hubby that I want a rental agreement and on it I want what we are suppose to do, like mow the lawn and I also want what she doesn’t want us to do with in reason and that is truely against the law according to the by laws and the police. And then at least I will be somewhat protected according to the law.
I use to get along with everyone no matter who they are and we always did communicate well. But now I am treated like I am an idiot and what I am asking for is not worth her time to fix and it’s not a big deal. But these things are just getting worse as time goes on and I am getting sicker and sicker because of it. But then she doesn’t care and it’s not her issue. I think that if these things did get fixed then I would feel like I actually do have a real home and just not something I am paying someone else for. And I am thinking that my headache woun’t be so many and maybe my IBS will go into remission because there won’t be the stress of wondering when and if I will get evicted.
I have never ever lived in a slumlords home and paid this kind of rent for nothing to be done ever.
Well, I have decided to look at the papers I have for different housing and figure out where to move. I have a feeling that it’s going to take some years or months to get accepted but that is okay. The most I have ever had to wait for housing was about 2 years so maybe this time it will be the same.
When I do leave here everything that I bought for the appliences I will be taking with me. Like the dust filter for the dryer. I had to pay $60.00 for that because the slumlord said I ripped it which I didn’t it was just wear and tare. And the element protectors I have had to replace twice already so I will be taking those with me also. And if she think I am going to be cleaning this place when I move out she will have a big surprise because I will not be cleaning anything. When I moved in here there was nothing done so why should I clean. I know she will be keeping the damage deposit but that doesn’t belong to us. It belongs to my dead mother in law so she can keep that and I know it won’t be enough for her to fix anything properly. And if she wants to sue me .... I wish her luck because I can’t afford any amount of money she would want and I know the courts don’t allow people who are on disabilty to be sued.
I wish I had the means to make me happy and fix things so they work like they are suppose to. And I wish I could look around and see that everything is perfect so I don’t have to wonder when they do get fixed.

Anyways, such is life, and I just have to deal with it the best I can.

Onto something else…

I am still afraid to do laundry and I am scared that the water will leak under the washer and the tempature of the dryer gets too hot, So I now have really big loads to do so maybe today I will get some of it done.
And tonight it’s going ti be left overs for hubby and I am not sure what I will have but it won’t be much.

This is where I stop…

Do have a great day…
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe and Behave.

Last updated September 01, 2023