Let Me Know in Journal

if this is too spicy…
It doesn’t matter how moral or virtuous or pious you are- it only really matters how difficult it is for you to pursue those particular principles.
So if you’re naturally unattractive, it’s very easy to be chaste. If you grew up at home, being homeschooled, in a community of values that promotes attachment and the value of the parent child relationship, then choosing to homeschool or stay home is easy. It’s not that it’s not a good thing to choose, but that the person choosing didn’t particularly work or need to show any specific moral courage in order to choose this.
And, I think, if a parent was raised in this way and does nothing herself or himself to further develop this value, then there isn’t really anything to admire about what they’re doing. It’s pre-programming. Just as I do not admire the Word Processing software for doing what it’s programmed to do; I do not admire the train-track of behavior that was patterned off of earlier generations…
And maybe I just see these things so starkly because I have to accept that Peaceful Parenting, or any kind of moral parenting, is an almost guarantee that your own parents will hate you. And I don’t just mean your real parents. They will, of course. And depending how dysfunctional and violent they are, they may try to make your life as hellish as possible. But, what I really mean is your inner parents will hate you. Those voices that took residence inside your skull involuntarily; installed by accidental biological proximity before you thought or knew or did anything at all. Before you existed, your parents were already seeding your psyche. These parents will hate you, if you decide to parent morally.
And it will be hell. For awhile, at least. Because with absolute certainty these voices hook into your very ability to desire survival. Every question that inherently condemns them yanks on your fight/flight/survival instincts. You will be punished in the severest way imaginable, if you are in reality going against your parent’s will.
So I suppose, having gained a certain perspective and weathered certain hardships in order to be where I am today; I scan those around to gauge what they are willing to do in order to uphold their principles.
And I’m afraid it’s not much.