Son hospitalized pt 3 in Age 36

So I was thinking when I woke up this morning that we would be gearing to go home. I was filled with that illusion. At around 11 am the pediatrician did her rounds and she began to talk to me about the “game plan.” As she was talking she casually mentioned, “…I consulted with my colleague in hem/onc....” I know what this stands for. And dread filled my belly, ice followed through my veins, and comprehension was slow to come.

As it is I am tapped out. I’m going on a week here.

But hearing the doc say that they were considering a cancer doctor consult. Because that is what hem/onc stands for. Hematology/oncology means blood cancer doctor. To those who aren’t parents, hearing this is the most frightening thing in the world. I’d rather be told that something is wrong with me, that my left leg is getting amputated or my arm, anything other than my doctors are considering cancer for my child. Honestly the feeling is indescribable.

But again I have to hold steadfast to what I already know, that the victory is won, its having to trust in that and being patient that really tries your faith. I need to change my line of thinking: Not when will I be leaving here, but when I leave here it will be with my son healed, my faith strong, and my outlook on life different.